Fuck This Weekend - Phillies lose on Saturday, Eagles lose on Sunday, and I head back to work on Monday. I check my fantasy scores and not only did I leave Kenny Britt on the bench, but I'm actually playing against him in two different leagues. So to recap, number 18 for the Titans scored 18 points against my real-life favorite football team, then he went for 47 and 53 against two of my fantasy football teams. I mean...what the fuck is the point? I know he's a Rutgers alum but can't you give me something, God? Anything?
Anyway, what else did we learn? Clockers, Kenny Britt Ate The Eagles, Touchback, Why Burn That Last Timeout?, The TOTALLY STRAIGHT Riley Cooper Dreamboat Meter, and The Eagles are Still Pretty Good.
Clockers - What the hell was that, Tennessee? I know you're in the south and many of the people who attend your games are the same people who pay by the minute for dial-up internet and own an "@hotmail.com" email address, but you've got to be technologically advanced enough to keep a scoreboard going. Watching football without the comfort of Fox's score and clock makes me feel helpless and alone. I'm wandering alone in the middle of an empty meadow. Where am I? What down is it? Is it halftime yet? I'm just glad that Tennessee's wack attack stadium scoreboard didn't affect my ability to watch Cleatus, the football-playing robot do jumping jacks while Kenny Albert's voiceover told me about Visa.
Kenny Britt Ate The Eagles - I know that Nate Allen didn't show us much on Sunday and Britt's first touchdown was more or less his fault, but Ellis Hobbs was the true goat of the game. He was getting beat BADLY on many of KB18's catches. I love to see a Rutgers guy do well in the League, but not like this. Ellis' ineptitude was embarrassing for the Eagles D and, I'm sure, for anyone who knows him personally.
Now I'm certain there were plenty of people clamoring for Sean McDermott to put Asante Samuel on Britt instead -- I was definitely one of them -- but in hindsight I don't know how much it would have mattered. Britt was playing out of his mind and was catching passes on man coverage, zone coverage, brackets, everything. Kenny Britt beat the Eagles on Sunday, and though I'd like to believe our secondary is infinitely improved from last year, he exposed a significant hole in our defense. A interception-seeking gambler on one side, an overrated veteran strong safety, a rookie free safety, and Kenny Britt's bitch on the other side. Is this group weaker than the linebackers? Does Ellis Hobbs now have to sit down when he pees?
Touchback - What was up with the wind during this game? Both kickers managed to boot the ball for a touchback 10 out of 13 times. Lesson? In Tennessee, THE WIND BLOWS BOTH WAYS. I'm sure Arrested Development has a lyric about this somewhere.
Why Burn That Last Timeout? - It doesn't make sense. You've stopped the Titans twice in a row, there's over 3:50 left on the clock, and you still have the two minute warning. Sure, they can run the clock down to around the 3 minute mark, but don't you want to be able to stop the clock at your will rather than have a few extra ticks now? I know making fun of Andy Reid's dipshittery with the clock is a tired motif, but that fucking walrus really is time-retarded. Totally moot because of the Colvin fumble, but this could have been the story if Kolb had his shot.
The TOTALLY STRAIGHT Riley Cooper Dreamboat Meter -
Fix your face, bruh.
The Eagles are Still Pretty Good - Make no mistake: the Eagles are a better team than the Titans. Much like how the Falcons probably feel about dropping last week's game in Philly, the Birds have to be equally confident that they are indeed a superior team that was defeated by a few big plays. The game must be played at a high level for 60 minutes and because the final whistle doesn't blow at the end of 45, we ended up taking an L. But remember that this team is playing without its number one receiver, number one quarterback, number one DT, and a sad mix on the offensive line. Do I expect us to ever be completely healthy? Of course not. But I think going 2-1 during a stretch against the Falcons, AT the Niners, and AT the Titans is pretty damn good. Now, things don't get any easier as I can't even name a single "gimme" game left on the schedule. But if Mike Vick can just hold off from throwing picks, the solid run defense this team has shown lately coupled with the big-play ability of Vick, Jackson, Maclin, and McCoy should be enough to propel them to a decent playoff seeding.
Fat Andy is 11-0 after bye weeks but Indy comes to town next. Here's to seeing some Manningface.
Go Birds.
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