17-8 Bitch

The Incredible Hulk. An Incredible Ass. An Incredible April. Yea, is your team 17-8 without their best player? Probably not.

Cliff. Lee.

Jesse Makes Me Biddle

Ok, so that wasted 2 minutes of your life, watching a 19-year old minor league pitcher get all hot and sweaty. For those of you that are now satisfied...there's nothing wrong with that. It's 2011, more power to you.

And for the rest of you...a girl with large breasts solving a Rubik's cube:

Whoa Wait, Kelly Bundy is Almost 40??

Bitten and Bound - Christina Applegate and fiance Martyn LeNoble welcomed a baby girl on January 27, 2011. The actress and her musician partner named their daughter Sadie Grace LeNoble. A spokesperson for the family said: “Mother and daughter are doing great.” Christina and Martyn have been dating for three years and became engaged last Valentine’s Day. She is fast approaching a milestone birthday. She will be ‘Fabulous 40′ in November.

Wow, Married With Children was a long-ass time ago I guess. Everybody loved Kelly Bundy. She invented the Kelly Bundy dress, was dumb as rocks, hot a fuck, and slept with like 50 dudes with hairmetal cuts and early 90's jean jackets. Bitch was a certified rock star. Now she's almost 40 and about to marry some man-boobed version of Neil Patrick Harris? C'mon, Kelly!

I know Christina Applegate has gone through a lot since her Fox TV days. She's had to overcome breast cancer and finding a way of not telling mom the baby sitter was dead, amongst other things.  I guess I'm happy that she's doing okay now, just a little weirded out that she's almost 40 years old.

Click below for some classic Kelly Bundy shots and a Funny or Die clip of a pregnant Christina workin shit out on a pole.  I know you're into that sort of thing.

Wake Up With Jaime Edmondson

Yesterday, Playboy.com released the playmates' "Ultimate NFL Football Gear Gallery", which they originally showed in September to go along with their playoff predictions. While their guesses on how the NFL would shake out weren't too great (they apparently had the Steelers missing the playoffs), these shots of Playmate Jaime Edmondson in all 32 teams' gear were.

Now I just gotta figure out whether her underboob actually looks that good or if the scar from her breast enhancement surgery was just Photoshopped out.

Oh, and feel free to vote for which one you think is the best. The Giants are killing us right now.

Mark Zuckerberg is Still Awkward as Shit

Buzzfeed - Katy Perry was getting chummy with Mark Zuckerberg at the Facebook headquarters. Internet titans collide, hug.

I love it. The guy is the billionaire owner of one of the most powerful brands on the planet, has Big Brother-like domain over all of the world's information, and he still looks like a shiny-foreheaded nerd when hugging up on some famous breasts. I'm sure Zuckerberg has seen/done/penetrated things my middle-class mind will never ever understand, but this picture totally makes me feel better about myself.

Jim Carrey No Longer Hilarious, Still Likable, Now Banging Models

The Huffington Post - A model rebound, if true. Jim Carrey, who broke up with Jenny McCarthy in April, was photographed Thursday night in New York holding hands with Anchal Joseph, a former 'America's Next Top Model' contestant. Joseph is 24-years old -- Carrey is 49.

I caught James Carrey on SNL a few weeks back and while he wasn't nearly as funny on that show as he was before, the dude is still incredibly likable. Maybe it's just because my generation grew up with him on In Living Color and in Ace Ventura, I dunno. I still like him. And I'm happy to see that he's freakin off with hot Indian models after breakin up with that farty crazyperson Jenny McCarthy. Love Indian girls.

Olivia Munn: You Win.

You win, Olivia. I had zero intentions of posting this weeks-old Maxim cover shot of you, but I saw it again just now and couldn't resist. You seem to have that whole I'm-just-one-of-the-guys dorky girl thing down to a science, and I've totally fallen for it. You've also done several covers and some online stuff for my former employer (is an intern an employee?) Complex, so I've seen you be cute and funny with real-life friends of mine.

Anyway, let the soccer moms get all up in arms about your see-through panties. Let ugly girls say your Daily Show appearances aren't funny. You're only going to win more fans in the end. Maybe even enough fans to keep your new sitcom from being a total disaster. [Fingers crossed]

Girls Playing Football Is Kinda Awesome

Don't worry folks, football is still alive in Philadelphia. Our Passion, of the Lingerie Football League, are still alive and headed to the Eastern Conference Championship on January 29th. From the video above, I can only assume they will win.

[Insert paragraph that talks about boobies, vagina(s), how girls can't play sports, the WNBA, more boobies, make me a sandwich, JWoww, Rex Ryan's wife, bukakke, fold my laundry, even more boobies, Michael Bolton, tampons, lesbian sex between straight girls who also want to sleep with you, Jessica Alba, clean the bathroom and Cliff Lee.]

Go Passion boobies!

Kolb Gets Extended and Links for Friday

A second Philadelphia athlete got a nice extension this week, his name is Kevin Kolb. The Eagles inked Kolb to a contract that will keep him in Philly through next year, guaranteeing him $12.26 million. Not quite Ryan Howard money but at least the dude is now paid like a starter in the NFL. If they hadn't extended him, Kolb would have made only $550,000. Now he'll get a $10.7 million signing bonus in addition to a bump in his yearly salary. That money will sure kill a lot of hogs.

Anyway, this actually works out well for the Eagles. Since the CBA expired there are all types of weird rules around extentions. This meant the Eagles couldn't sign Kolb to an extension without it being ridiculously team friendly since yearly salaries can't increase more than 30% each year due to the new rules. Thus, the Eagles get him on a two-year deal and get to see if he's any good. If he totally blows, they can move on. If he's awesome they can resign him to a long-term, big dollar contract. It's pretty much a win-win.

Anyways, here's to hoping that Kolb is the truth. Cause if he isn't...well....let's just not think about that right now. Now onto the links...

Links for Friday

It's that time of year again, millions of married men receive the only "porn" magazine they can safely display around the house without their wife getting all pissed off and accussing them of, GASP!, masturbating. (Seriously, women need to understand that men, as long as they can get it up, will jerk off. It's nothing against you...we love you. But a dude's gotta do what a dude's gotta do. So unless you wanna bang us at our every beck and call -- which we are totally okay with by the way -- we're going to spank it. We don't care if you get yourself off, too...as long as you videotape it and share it with us.)

Anyways, the beautiful Brooklyn Decker graces this years cover. I still have yet to receive my copy, so SI better get on that. Seriously.

Onto the links:

Links for Friday

Yet again, our world is flush with Roy Halladay rumors. Will the Phillies end up getting him? Maybe. Ruben Amaro Jr. is playing this one close to the vest and I imagine he will continue to whether they obtain Halladay or not. Trust me, these rumors aren't going anywhere anytime soon.

So while we wait for another ace that may never come, here are some links for Friday.