Car Thieves Crack Keyless Entry/Ignition Cars With Antenna

Technology Review - Car thieves of the future might be able to get into a car and drive away without forced entry and without needing a physical key, according to new research that will be presented at the Network and Distributed System Security Symposium next month in San Diego, California.
The researchers successfully attacked eight car manufacturers' passive keyless entry and start systems—wireless key fobs that open a car's doors and start the engine by proximity alone.

It was only a matter of time, right? I feel like if I watched any shitty Fast and Furious/Gone in 60 Seconds-ish movie made after 2009, this technology would just be assumed. What I love now is that when you leave your downtown office and your fucking BMW is missing from the company lot, you just know it was some dorky WASP-y MIT professor driving off with your shit laughing maniacally through the sunroof. No way you can blame that one on a minority group.

h/t BoingBoing via Technology Review

Giant Gas Fireball on Philly Street Caught on Tape

How often is this kinda stuff actually caught on tape? Incredible. I'll keep the dick jokes to a minimum since someone actually died during this Tacony explosion, but this is great viral nonetheless.

h/t CBS News

4AM is Never Too Early to Make Fun of the NY Giants

The season might be over, but I was delighted to see Shady McCoy still talking shit. Even as he's partying his ass off into the wee hours of the morning, he took time out to take a little dig at the Giants and I think that’s pretty friggin cool. It makes him feel more like a real person rather than just some apathetic, high maintenance athlete. Maybe diva-ness doesn't kick in til year 3 of your NFL career. Anywho, glad to see Shady is enjoying himself.

Al Davis Is As Horrifying As Ever

This lovely photograph is from Hue Jackson's introductory press conference as the Raiders new head coach. You really don’t get much more dreadful than this. No words exist which can accurately express just how revolting this truly is.

Considering what the rest of this ghoul’s face looks like, what types of cavernous gashes or immense liquid seepage do you suppose he's hiding under those Band-Aids? I don’t think I can allow my imagination to go to a place dark enough to even venture a guess. It's a mighty sad day when a herpes sore the size of a quarter is the least of your problems.

h/t Tirico Suave

Sportsdome: 8 Year-Old Cancer Patient Phillies Fan Gets Last Wish to Heckle David Wright

"I hope he gets cancer like me." Classic.

Although the second episode of The Onion's new Comedy Central show Sportsdome was more disappointing than the first, irrational Phillies fanaticism got a full segment. Can't give it a bad rating now I guess.

"I hate how he smiles like he's playing to win friends. Just play, Scumbag."

Crazy Fan Tattoos, An Image Search

This woman loves the Kansas Jayhawks. She's also on he front page of ESPN.com. So, no matter how stupid that tattoo is and how ridiculous it's going to look when she's 75, she has already accomplished more than I have. Damn it.

Anyway, it spurned on a Google image search of massive proportions. Apparently there are plenty of idiots out there (which, of course, doesn't come as a surprise). Enjoy.

Glen Beck: "Philadelphia Sucks"

Also said "Philadelphia is not a place you want to be." I could probably write several thousand words on how I feel about this, but I'll keep it to four.

Fuck you, Glen Beck.



h/t Philebrity via MediaMatters

Afternoon Links: Natalie Portman is a Dork

Natalie Portman Cracks Herself Up - This is equal parts cute and annoying. I still love you, girl. [DListed]

Cuba Shoots its First Zombie Movie - It's called Juan of the Dead. I shit you not. [BBC News]

Kid Possessed By Micheal Jackson Kills It for the Jumbotron - Not like there's anything else to do during Bobcats games. [The Chive]

Things Real People Don't Say About Advertising - I've had real-life meetings about this kinda stuff at work. I'm now depressed. [Digg]

Texting Woman Falls into Mall Fountain - Give her some credit on the casual walk away. [Asylum]

If Madden Player Ratings Were More Detailed - Flacco gets a 100 for Poise and Calm, but he really needs to do something about his Eyebrows rating. [Sports Pickle]

White Kid Raps Really Fast - More importantly he makes it seem effortless while having solid lyrical content. And you gotta trust my opinion here. I'm black. [Buzzfeed]

Roy Halladay Lacks Human Emotion

Is this absolutely ridiculous and silly?  You're damn right it is, but I'm a sucker for The Terminator.  And in case you forgot, I always said Roy Halladay was made up of endoskeleton and rhinoceros bits.  Totally called that shit MONTHS ago.

h/t Zoo With Roy

Black Freckles is a Beast

Is there any NBAer you'd rather watch right now than Blake Griffin? Dude is a monster. Hulk-like presence in the paint? Check. Post-up spin move off the glass? Check. Dwight Howard's Superman dunk in an actual game? Check. I love this guy.

Deadspin posted the above video and is looking for a fitting nickname. CNNSI apparently has already gone with "Beast Mode," but Marshawn Lynch actually did something impressive lately so I think he gets to keep his title. I'm goin with Black Freckles. Racist? Maybe. Fun to say? Definitely.

Check out all of Griffin's 47 points from last night and try not to develop a man crush. Shit's impossible.