Sixers Will Make The Finals. Fact.

Trust me on this one, the ESPN NBA Playoff Predictor never lies. Sixers = Eastern Conference Champions. Especially when it only take 87 tries to make this happen. Like I've always said, 87th try is the charm.

PS - By the way, in this predictor the Grizzlies seem to beat the Lakers like 50% of the time. ESPN must know something we don't know.

PPS - Don't ask me what happens in the Finals simulation. There's a reason I'm not showing a picture of that.

PPPS - I highly recommend not wasting a half hour of your life doing this. Not exactly the most rewarding way to spend your time. Or. Is. It?

PPPPS - Cliff Lee.

Yes, We Have A Good Basketball Team

[SI.com] The Sixers are an East-best-tying 12-4 over the last 16 games, they are arguably the deepest team in the conference and they have a versatile shutdown defender in Andre Iguodala, who also has performed with the command and efficiency of a point guard since coach Doug Collins flipped him the keys to the offense last month. The center tandem of Spencer Hawes and Marreese Speights is the weak link in the rotation, but the length and quickness of their wing and perimeter players (including Jrue Holiday, Thaddeus Young and Evan Turner, as well as Iguodala) often compensates. Everyone gets out in transition -- their controlled, three-quarter-speed fast break is superb -- and their interior passing is a real advantage against weak defenses, as Golden State discovered Sunday. If the trends continue -- the Heat, Hawks and Magic fragile, the Sixers steadily improving -- Philadelphia could become a first-round dark horse.

Folks, this team is officially good. No, they aren't great, but they don't have to be. As SI.com writer Britt Robson says above, there isn't a team in the East that wants to play them right now. They are deep (they seem to consistently have at least six guys in double figures each night) and are playing the kind of team basketball that isn't flashy but sure is effective. Our ballers are 14-4 in their last 18 games, including victories against playoffs teams like the Spurs, Knicks, Hawks and Nuggets. And while the fans haven't necessary come back yet, as the John Smallwood pointed out today, they will if this keeps up. Philadelphia doesn't want flash, we want winners. If the Sixers keep this up, especially in their next two games against the Thunder and Celtics, people will notice.

They'd be silly not to.

[photo courtesy Michael Conroy/AP]

Kendrick Perkins Misses Boston, Wishes There Was Better Sports News

In case you haven’t noticed, this is the most exciting thing happening in sports at the current moment. Shit’s real sad right now. But at least Kendrick Perkins’ shattering heart is doing its’ best to keep us mildly entertained. The Sad Perk meme has hit the internet in full force, and as silly and dumb as it is, makes me oddly satisfied and amused.

Perkins loved Boston and promptly turned into Sir Weepy Vaginaface after learning he was traded. Don’t be such a sourpuss KPerk. You play basketball for a living and are a millionaire. Just because you had to move away from your friends doesn’t mean you gotta pout like a 4th grader. At least you’re not Baron Davis. He was traded to Cleveland and is probably loading the bullets into his gun right now.

[Sad Perk]

We Have Melo! And Amare! And...Some Other Guys!

First off, let me begin this by saying I’m a fan of what the Knicks did. If you have a chance to acquire a top 10 (or 15) player, and pair him with another top 10 (or 15) player, you have to do it. When Melo is dropping 35 on Miami on Sunday, nobody in NYC is gonna miss Wilson Chandler or Danilo.

HOWEVER, the Knicks still aren’t that great. Yes, this gives them a base that could potentially be great over the next few years, but as of right now they really aren’t much of a threat (outside of taking one of the East’s contenders to 6 games in the first round) to win anything this year.

“But Dave,” you drunk-as-shit-happy-as-fuck Knicks fan might say, “We got Chaunce too. And Melo will own the Garden. You don’t know shit, we owned the Bulls twice AND we beat the Heat. Eastern Conference Finals, here we come! Bitch.”

Bitch, I'd respond with the quick fact that the Knicks only have three good players now. And remember defense? Yea, the Knicks don’t play any. Melo isn’t exactly a defensive force, and Amare basically blocks a few shots and that’s it. I mean, I'm a Billups fan and everything, but that guy isn’t guarding Rondo, Rose or Nelson in the playoffs, trust me. Over a seven game series the Knicks aren’t stopping Wade/LeBron/Bosh, Garnett/Rondo/Pierce/Allen or Rose/Boozer/Noah/Deng. It’s just not happening. Sure, they can catch fire from the three for a game or two…but remember they just traded Gallinari, Chandler AND Felton, who accounted for 5-threes per game at about 34% shooting. Sure Melo and Billups probably can make most of that up, but there isn’t the depth of 3-point shooting anymore. While the Knicks will still score a TON, how they score will need to change (Billups isn't a pass-first PG, which this offense is predicated on). It's definitely going to take some time. Again, I’m not saying this trade shouldn’t have happened, but it doesn’t exactly leave the Knicks as a true contender. Certainly more interesting, just really not that scary...yet.

If you don’t believe me check this link out. This guy knows a whole lot more than I do, and says it in a whole lot better way than I can. Long story short? Melo and Amare ain’t a perfect marriage…not like Cliff Lee and Phillies.

But don’t worry New York, we got your back. Our 76ers will be out in the first round too. Shared pain, baby. Shared pain.

The Staples Center Seems Confused

What's worse? @StapleCenterLA's butchering of "NBA Legend" Detlef Schrempf's name, or their incredibly loose idea of what constitutes a Legend? I guess "Two Hall of Famers Standing Near 'Big Smooth' and 'Det the Threat'" didn't have the same ring to it.

[h/t SportsbyBrooks]

Jeff Van Gundy Doesn't Think Rondo Is Very Funny

As much as I hate the Celtics, and Rajon Rondo, I have to admit this was a pretty smart move by #9. Watching the game earlier, it became increasingly apparent that the Celtics have a tremendous mental edge over the Heat. Rondo and Kevin Garnett, while punks, are so constantly intense that it wears on teams. It was obvious that LeBron, Wade and Bosh got frustrated in the second half, and it's things like Rondo's huddle snooping above (and Garnett shoulder to Mike Miller) that help contribute to that frustration. So, while I can't exactly say that Rondo's tactic was good sportsmanship, it sure seemed to get the job done.

Of course, if he ever does it again, I hope LeBron punches him is his gay little face.

Michael Jordan Is Bad Ass

[ESPN.com] - Short on players for practice, the Charlotte Bobcats found an extra body in the front office: Michael Jordan. The Hall of Famer and Bobcats owner suited up for Thursday's workout, participating in a full-court scrimmage and showing a few of the old moves that helped make him a six-time NBA champion. "He's Mike. He's been kicking our [butts]. He still has it," forward Gerald Wallace said. "He doesn't have this quickness, but he can score, he's a shooter. The last thing to ever go is your jump shot and he has that."

Seriously, MJ is awesome. In between being a bad GM, gambling millions upon millions and probably laying tons of pipe, he's still able to get out on the court and ball with guys half his age. At 48 I'll probably have prostate problems, ear hair and a gut the size of Andy Reid. Jordan? He's dropping fall-away jumpers over Gerald Wallace.

Baller.

Jrue = Hot, Turner = Not

7.4, 40%. 4.5, 2.0. I think we are all aware this season hasn't gone as well as it could have for Evan Turner. A player that was touted as the most "NBA ready" in the draft has done very little to impress besides the occasional flash. If you wrote the perfect story for how a rookie year should go, and then scrapped that story and wrote the opposite...you'd have the story of Turner's season.

Well, today, it got a little worse for our #2 muppet pick. The NBA released the rosters for the 2011 Rookie Challenge, and Mr. Turner wasn't on it. Seriously, he hasn't even been one of the best NINE ROOKIES. Sure, if you told me someone like John Wall or DeMarcus Cousins would have a better year than Turner I wouldn't have been surprised. But Greg Monroe? Landry Fields? Gary Neal? UGH. Evan Turner, how bout you stop sucking. LIKE. RIGHT. NOW.

On a good note, Jrue Holiday made the sophomore team. I have a feeling that it's only a matter of time before he's playing in the real game...so at least we've got that going for us, which is nice.

[NBA.com]

Wizards Fan Dunk Is Bad Ass

Ok, I admit the whole setup is terribly fake. The 'on a date and holding a cell phone' thing just isn't plausible. It would have been better just having this guy act normal like the rest, then throw down a massive dunk and have the crowd go nuts. Yea, they'd figure out it was fake eventually, but that first moment of surprise would have been worth it. However, the dunk is so bad ass that I'm pretty sure "Eddie" ended up getting his that night regardless of if he was on a real date or not.

[NESN.com]

Remembering Tyrone Hill

There are two important things to mention here:

1) I'm drunk.

2) Tyrone Hill looks like a vampire bat.

I Want A Melo And I Can't Have One And I'm Sad

With the news today that Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov has withdrawn his team from trade talks with the Nuggets, it appears that Carmelo Anthony is again available to the highest bidder. However, while that may be true, there are only a handful of teams that truly have a chance to acquire one of best scorers in the NBA.

Black Freckles is a Beast

Is there any NBAer you'd rather watch right now than Blake Griffin? Dude is a monster. Hulk-like presence in the paint? Check. Post-up spin move off the glass? Check. Dwight Howard's Superman dunk in an actual game? Check. I love this guy.

Deadspin posted the above video and is looking for a fitting nickname. CNNSI apparently has already gone with "Beast Mode," but Marshawn Lynch actually did something impressive lately so I think he gets to keep his title. I'm goin with Black Freckles. Racist? Maybe. Fun to say? Definitely.

Check out all of Griffin's 47 points from last night and try not to develop a man crush. Shit's impossible.

At Least We're Not Cleveland...Part Deux

Wow. As you've probably seen by now, the Lakers beat the Cavaliers 112-57 last night...a 55-point bitch-slap of epic proportions. They were outscored by at least 15 points in each of the first three quarters and shot an almost unbelievable 29.9% from the floor. This game marked their 21st loss in their last 22 games. Yuck. (Consider this - since LeBron returned to Cleveland on December second, the Heat are 18-1. The Cavs? 1-19. Seriously.)

To make matters worse, LeBron has jumped on the bandwagon, sending out the tweet above last night during the massacre. If there was someone in Cleveland that didn't hate LeBron yet, they certainly aren't a fan anymore.

So, kids, as we continue to wallow in the sad misfortunes of our football team, remember one thing. At least we're not Cleveland.

Happy New Year, Andre Iguodala

Denver seems like a nice city, right?

Go Sixers.

Who's Up For Stealing the NHL's Idea?

Have you heard about the fantastic concept the NHL will adopt for their All Star game this year? You didn't? It's OK, if you’re like most people, you don’t bother listening during the hockey segments of SportsCenter. Let me break it down for you:

1. Fans vote for their favorite hockey players to be included in the All Star game.

2. The chosen players will vote amongst themselves to choose two captains.

3. A FANTASY DRAFT IS THEN HELD where the two captains take turns picking the remaining players to fill out their respective squads.

4. After the NHL All Star game is completed, people will realize the draft was more fun than sitting through the actual game.

That last point is just my hypothesis, but it's rather likely. So how can we improve on this intuitive idea? Steal it and implement it in the NBA. Choosing teams playground-style works even better for basketball. There are too many players and specific positions in the NFL to have fun with it. MLB could use this to improve the dreadful All Star product they currently force down our throats, but there's really no denying this would work best in basketball.

Imagine how fun it would be to watch LeBron and Kobe picking teams:

Kobe: I'll take my man Kevin Durant.
LeBron: I select LeBron James.
Kobe: (looking at LeBron) I'll take Kobe.
LeBron: Gimme DWade.
Kobe: (glaring) Pau Gasol.
LeBron: Fine. I'll take Bosh.
Kobe: Delonte West.
LeBron: Fuck you.

Then when Chris Kaman and Andrew Bogut are the last picks, we'd all laugh. Good times.

Anyway, if NBA could make this team selection process part of their All Star Weekend festivities, I'd sure as hell watch. It's infinitely more entertaining than watching Leandro Barbosa, Thunder Dan Majerle and some WNBA chick compete in the utterly face-numbing 'Shooting Stars Competition'.

Although watching a 300lb Magic Johnson miss half court shots for 3 straight minutes is damn entertaining.

A Few NBA Predictions to Chew On

With a separate Sixers Preview on it’s way, I figured I’d jot down some quick NBA predictions since, ya know, I do predictions so friggin’ well and all. This NBA season promises to be one of the most interesting in recent memory. LeBron's talents have been brought to South Beach, Chris Bosh joined him, Kevin Durant is the best pure scorer since MJ, Shaq is now a Celtic, Dwight Howard has something to prove, Melo should be a Knick or Net at some point, a pending lockout is on the horizon, Evan Turner might suck, John Wall is nasty, the Spurs make their last stand and the Cavs will be terrible. Ultimately, all of that should make for great theater.

So, without further ado: 5 Things That Will Happen This Year:

1) Kevin Durant will win the MVP. It will be difficult for LeBron to win a third straight when Dwayne Wade will likely be just as instrumental in the Heat’s success. Carmelo is too unhappy, Chris Paul doesn’t have enough talent around him and Dirk is simply too boring. I say the award comes down to Durant and an “on a mission” Dwight Howard. A dark-horse could be a healthy Brandon Roy, but that’s never going to happen (the healthy part).

Ladies - Marreese Speights Would Prefer You Put Down That Sammich

Sorry girls, when Marreese is out and about yall better tuck your muffin tops away.  According to his Twitter last night, Speights encountered quite a few of you.  He's blaming it on your constant consumption of cheesesteaks, scrapple, and grease-shakes. 

As you can see from this earlier tweet, this was a problem he encountered all night long. You can start the tweet-delete countdown now.

Whatever.  Anyway, Speights shouldn't be worrying about our Philly girls, and instead concentrate on the upcoming season.  Especially considering he's a guy who hasn't exactly had the best conditioning himself.  Just sayin'.

Evan Turner Goes for Funk Dunk Pose, Others Look Silly

This pic was part of the NBA's annual Rookie Photo Shoot – it’s the only one featuring Evan Turner that the NBA posted in their website slideshow. I would’ve liked to have seen some more of E.T. but the slideshow spreads around the love pretty evenly to all the rookies.

I’d give that pose a solid 7, I suppose. It’s nothing too spectacularly cool (like the style of photo shot for John Wall), but at least Turner didn’t embarrass himself.

Speaking of embarrass, quite a few rooks did an excellent job of doing just that...

Sixers Will Surprise Heat in First Game, Lose by only 20

Kate Fagan of Philly.com is reporting on her "Deep Sixer" blog the Sixers will take on Superteam Heat in their first game of the season. So much for starting 1-0.

The Most Ridiculous Headline of All-Time:

This is a screen-grab of an article I saw on Yahoo this afternoon.  You can see it in its entirety HERE.  You can also see that it's completely retarded. 

I don't know what's worse - the Knicks 'source', or the SportingNews for quoting something from 'zagsblog.com'.

How anyone thought this was legit news is beyond me.  Doesn't common sense kick in at some point?  Shouldn't someone have said "Wait... this 'source' is full of shit.  That didn't happen." 
The best part is when the source continues to try and rationalize the reasoning:

“I don’t care what most people think. I’m not saying that LeBron is not a good player but other stuff comes with it. LeBron’s friends want jobs. You’re gonna lose running your organization. As time goes on you gotta hire this guy, you gotta hire that guy.”

The Source then asked everyone to "move their feet" as he had to "mop the rest of this shit up." Sigh...you poor delusional bastard. 

The Source went on: "I'm not saying the iPhone 4 isn't a fantastic device, but a pink RAZR with rhinestones on it is what we wanted all along."

Alright commenters, your turn.  Come with your best.