Fun With Trades That Won't Happen

So apparently Colby Rasmus isn't too well liked by teammate Albert Pujols or manager Tony LaRussa and has requested a trade from St Louis management. That happened a few days ago. Since then everyone is predictably backpedaling, but I’m quite sure it’s still an issue in the Cardinals organization. The Cardinals would probably be better served getting rid of LaRussa than its high-end young talent, but what do I know?

Now, several blogs are posting possible destinations for Rasmus. After the jump I'll leave you with my proposal and a video you've probably seen before, but is worth posting again if only to ensure the creator is thoroughly embarrassed in the interwebs forever. 

Oh, and this dog in a Wonder-Woman getup has nothing to do with anything.  Or does it?  Yeah...you just think about that....

Now, as our very own Wetz would attest, I love me some Colby Rasmus. My fantasy baseball teams are proof of this. So I'm just sayin'... how about the Phillies pull a trade for a young, budding talent who has a fantastic chance of developing into a great Major Leaguer? Rasmus, in his second year in the league, has a stat line this year of 19 homers, 55 RBI’s, 10 stolen bases with .268 average (in addition to Gold Glove caliber play in Centerfield). He just turned 24 and has an extremely high ceiling and is going to be very, very good in the near future.

Who would I give up? Glad you asked, mystery reader. Victorino and a pitching prospect -- in a heartbeat. While many people love their Flyin’ Hawaiian, he sometimes pisses me off and can often be frustrating to watch (although Jayson Werth is giving him a serious for his money this year). I’m not alone in this sentiment - PhuturePhillies even tweeted the same the other day. Think about an outfield of Dom Brown, Colby Rasums, and whoever replaces Ibanez in 2012. NASTY. Howie Roseman would make this shit happen.

Alright, I know I just did A LOT of Colby Rasmus slurping, but listen: I'm not a delusional caller on 610 nor do I seriously believe the Cardinals would even consider this trade (they can't really afford to take on a payroll increase - especially with Pujols’ extension looming). But since when is it a crime to dream? And most importantly, it gives me a reason to post this random girl's video entitled "Colby Rasmus Fire Burning In The Outfield". This song is horrociously fantastic.

Colby Rasmus!