Michael Young, Heartbreaker

I have to say, I had a similar reaction when the Phillies traded Bobby Abreu. /sarcasm

[Video via Big League Stew]

BREAKING NEWS: The Phillies Are Good At Everything

Today, ESPN.com's Keith Law released his organizational farm system rankings for all 30 MLB teams (sorry, Insider access needed). Where did our Phillies rank, you ask? Fifth. Yes, you read that right, FIFTH. In all of MLB. Damn we are awesome.

If it's one thing we've heard from analysts, other team's fans and sports talk shows over the past year, it's that the Phillies, while very good right now, have damaged their long-term success by making all the trades they've made recently. We've heard, "hey, you may be good now, but you're gonna suck in 2013!" Well guess what folks...NOT. GONNA. HAPPEN. Despite not spending the amount of money other teams do on prospects, and despite trading for every team's ace, the Phillies farm system is loaded. Yes, most of the talent is in Single A, but that means they should be ready by about 2013...right when we'll need them. Yep, our better is definitely better than their better.

Cliff Lee.

h/t to PhuturePhillies.

I Love You Cliff

<3

Cole Hamels Is Our Fourth Starter

Welcome home, Clifton. Multiple reports have confirmed, Cliff Lee has agreed to a deal with the Phillies. Ruben, I take it all back. We all take it all back. We love you, so very, very much.

This is all so new, so fresh, it's hard to really believe it. However, barring some ridiculous turn of events, the Phillies now boast a rotation of Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, Roy Oswalt and Cole Hamels. That doesn't even make sense.

Think about it this way: Roy Halladay, per Fangraphs.com WAR statistic, was the second most valuable pitcher in baseball last year. Number one? That would be Cliff Lee. Almost every team in baseball would kill to have Cole Hamels and Roy Oswalt as their top two starters. We have them. And we have Cliff Lee and Roy Halladay too.

I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep with happiness. Cliff, glad to have you back.

Oh, and fuck the Yankees.

I'm Gonna Pretend This Is All A Lie

Sometime in life you hear something so good, so unbelievable, that you are almost forced to believe it isn't true. After reading rumor after rumor earlier today about the possiblity that the Phillies had entered the Cliff Lee bidding at the 11th hour, I come home from the bar tonight to this tweet from Joel Sherman of the NY Post:

At thsi moment, #Yankees have become extremely negative about landing Lee and believing that he is edging toward #Phillies

Besides the fact he spelled "this" wrong...well...holy shit. There isn't much else to really say right now, especially since there is really very little chance of this happening. If reports of the Yankees $150 million bid are true, Lee would probably be leaving $50 million on the table to join the Phillies. It's true that he loved it here, but that's a lot of money to "go somewhere you love." Thankfully we won't have to wait very long, as Jon Heyman reported tonight that a deal could come tomorrow.

Let's hope it's Christmas come early this year in Philadelphia.

*fingers crossed*

Jeff Francoeur Is A Douche, Please Don't Sign Him

As I'm sure you've heard by now, the Phillies have interest in Jeff Francoeur. Rubes Jr. really wants a platoon partner for Domonic Brown, somebody who can not only hit lefties but provides some good outfield defense. It would appear, on the surface, that Francoeur can do both as he hits lefties (.299 career avg.) and has a strong arm in right field.

The problem is, Jeff Francoeur is a total douche. Besides the fact that he just looks like a guy I would hate, he also seems to carry some perpetual upside that never becomes reality. Plus he was a Met, which pretty much makes him toxic. And he was obviously the reason the Rangers lost the World Series. Oh, and in case you need any more reasons to hope the Phillies don't sign this guy, here is a gem of a quote from 2005:

“If on-base percentage is so important, then why don’t they put it up on the scoreboard?”

Ugh. Last time I checked they do, pal.

This Phillies team if full of good, fun, cool players. Let's not ruin that with Frenchy, ok Rubes?

Don't let me down.

Bad Ass Mickey Morandini Baseball Card

Seriously, I've seen a lot of baseball cards and this has to be one of the most bad-ass ones around (as is this one). Mickey is layin' the wood to some crappy catcher (who I think is on the Mets but I can't quite tell) obviously scoring a game-winning run. He probably slept with multiple girls following this game, and then combed his mullet slowly as he looked over his conquest. As we all know, Mickey Morandini rocks.

Oh, and he's also back in the organization now as the manager of the Class-A Williamsport Crosscutters. But really, I just wanted a reason to show that awesome card.

Enjoy your Friday.

A Player by Player Restrospective: Ryan Madson

Juan Uribe. If Ryan Madson is anything like us fans (which right off bat, I'll admit, is unlikely) he probably falls to sleep at night having nightmares about Mr. Uribe. I mean, if I gave up a go-ahead home run to a player that effectively ended my team's season it would probably stick with me for awhile. Fucking Juan Uribe.

A Player by Player Retrospective: Joe Blanton

Joe Blanton signed a 3-year, $24M extension last offseason, keeping him in a Phillies uniform through the 2012 season. This made some sense for the Phillies (minus the whole ‘should have just kept Cliff Lee with that money’ thing which I’m not going to get into) since he asked for $10.25M in arbitration, and the Phillies countered with $7.5M. Meeting in between was a good idea, since the arbitration process can be difficult to predict. Plus, the Phillies were keeping a reliable arm, someone that had just come off a pretty good year, who is fully capable of pitching 200 innings to a 4.10 ERA. That’s useful.

2010 Phillies Recap: A Player by Player Retrospective

I recognize that we’re all still very depressed from last Saturday’s events. While we may have considered the fact that we could lose to the Giants, I don’t think any of use actually thought that we would. However, after Cody Ross homeruns, Ryan Howard strikeouts and f’in Juan Uribe, our team is no longer playing baseball this year. That fact, sadly, isn’t going to change.

Should I Laugh? No?...Yes? I Think...Yes!

This offseason I've had to listen to so many damn Mets fans go "man, once we get healthy, we'll be right there bro. You better watch out, the Amazin's are going come back strong this year! Jose Reyes baby! I'm a fucking guido!" it isn't funny. Mets fans suck and they honestly are the worst people on earth. So, after reading this news today, I just have to laugh.

Now, I would never wish injury or sickness upon anyone (except Rosie O' Donnell) but Mets fans make it so hard not to root for their team to fall apart. Plus, Jose Reyes is a total douchebag. So, without further ado:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAFUCKYOUMETSFANSHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAASSHOLESHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHISLEPTWITHYOURMOM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAYOURDADISGAYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ok, now I feel better. Fuck the Mets.

Go Phils.

These Aren't Your Dad's Phillies Anymore

As the dust settles from the Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee deals one thing has become apparent. These aren't your same old Phillies anymore folks. This team operates differently than it once did and that's a very, very good thing for us fans.

Halladay - Lee Trade: The Breakdown

With Roy Halladay and the Phillies reportedly coming to an agreement on a contract extension, it looks like this deal is all but done. Honestly, there is a ton to digest in this trade and the last 24+ hours have been a whirlwind of rumors and names of prospects being thrown around. Now that we finally have a concrete idea of who is going where, here is the breakdown:

Roy Halladay Deal Not Worth It?

So we still don't know anything in regards to the biggest trade in recent Phillies history. Rather impressive considering we live in a world where news travels lightening fast and details leak well before 'official' press conferences are scheduled. Ruben Amaro, like always, has played this close to the vest but that isn't stopping news outlets from taking stabs at the real question - besides Cliff Lee, who else are the Phillies giving up?

CSN made a report late last night as to who it may be. And honestly, it leaves me a little less excited than I was 12 hours ago.

Roy Halladay, Almost Done?

It appears the Phillies are close to a deal for Roy Halladay. However, rumors are stilling flying around as to who is going where, so it's practically impossible right now to offer any true analysis. Here is my quick opinion: Roy Halladay is awesome. The guy is super-duper-good and wants to pitch in Philly. As long as it doesn't cost Cliff Lee AND multiple prospects, I think the Phillies make out good here, especially since they'll be signing him to an extension.

Again, I'll be back with a longer analysis once this is finalized and we know who is going where. Until then, check out MLBTradeRumors for updates.