StewBrad Site Features Rubix Cube-Faced Woman, Whack Things

What does maybe-former Eagles starting MLB Stewart Bradley think is whack? Well, among others: lesbians who look like Justin Beiber, floods, dogs with snow boots, fatty pizzas, kids smoking, and People hating on Tom Brady's hair.

Gotta respect the subtle Kung-Fu reference, though.

Eagles 28, Jaguars 3: Boom

Michael Vick is heartless, dog-drowning sociopath...if by "heartless, dog-drowning sociopath" you mean the GREATEST QUARTERBACK IN THE WORLD.

Holy shit just look at my dude bein' all menacing and awesome. McNabb? He's a Chunky soup-slurpin', interception-smirking punaniface. Kolb? He sucks. But Michael, oh Michael...you're the one. You're the shit like 50 I'm-the-shit-like similes from Lil' Wayne.

Oh, what's that? You're one of those Eagles fans that could never let MV7 turn the page on his conviction? You're that guy who could never come to grips with the fact that your favorite football team is now being led by Ookie so you openly rooted  for his failure? Well I'm here to tell you it's okay -- but I know how you feel:

So what did we learn this week? Well, The Jaguars are Really Really Bad, MV7 for MVP, Save Him for Later, OBEY THE LAWS, DeSean's First Dougie, StewBrad to the Rescue, and Silence for the Dead.

Eagles 35, Lions 32: Shady Vickness

Okay, I've got a confession to make: I didn't actually watch this game per se. My gf (who does my photoshop for free) got good tickets to Mets/Braves and I couldn't turn down the chance to root against the Braves and boo everything in sight for 3 hours. So yeah, I missed the Michael Vick Experience in his full experienceness and because DirecTV hates me, the game didn't properly dvr. So here I am providing commentary based on dozens of highlights, conversation with Eagles fans, conversations with Eagles haters, websites, other blogs, personal expertise and my own real-time neurotic checking of the box score.

So what did we learn? Well, Mike Bell Sucks Now, The Experience is Back, What About Shady?, Omar Gaither is the Worst, Jason Peters and the Magic Injury Machine, Defensive Tackles work Half Days, Special Thanks to Special Teams, NFC LEast?, Nate Allen DROY, and Juqua Parker Loves Sacks

Eagles 20, Packers 27: Pointing Fingers!

Oh snap!

So THAT shit didn't pan out how we wouldda guessed. If you had two season-ending injuries, two concussions, and a return of the Michael Vick Experience scramble party on your scorecard, then you are the winner! And psychic. WIIIIITCH!!!

And while I was hoping I wouldn't have to write a "Pointing Fingers" article this week, there are obviously some interesting things to talk about / blame for this loss including KevinKolbSucksHe'sTerrible, No Love for DeSean, Brent Celek Kidnapping, Winston Justice's Averageness, Ellis Hobbs, Marty Mornhinweg's employment, Andy Reid's genius, and Omar Gaither.

Andy Reid: "Concussion..(clears throat) Schmuncussion."

Good to see Andy got this memo... but someone should probably tell him that The Onion is usually pretty satirical.

Bash your head on the jump to see some questionable "concussion" videos.

OchoCinco Has Questions, StewBrad Has Answers

The answer and video of the Stewart Bradley hit after the jump. With an UPDATE!

StewBrad on a Vespa in a Mickey Mouse Shirt? StewBrad on a Vespa in a Mickey Mouse Shirt.

Chris:  found a good pic of stewbrad giving the thumbs up while sitting on a Vespa wearing a mickey mouse playing soccer sweatshirt
Chris:  i dunno what we can use that for, but i saved it to keep it handy.
Maurice:  we could just post it real big for no good reason.

Hope you enjoyed your look behind the curtain over here at TheWizWit.  h/t phillymag.com and more specifically, Hughe Dillon