Eagles, Redskins Game To Take Place on Basketball Court

Don't get too excited, it's the wives of Eagles and Redskins players who will be taking to the court. We all know how painful women's basketball is, and how even more painful it is to watch random girls try and play sports. I can appreciate bounce passes as much as the next white guy, but watching women's basketball is a sleep-inducing experience. Sexism!
Former Eagle Irving Fryar is also the head coach. I've met him a couple times when I was younger and he seems like he’s kind of a dick. Just throwing that out there. Moving right along, some notable Eagle wives taking part are:

Stacy Avant - A little slow but great hands.
Maggie Jean-Giles - She sounds... large. We need a big body in the paint who can dunk.
Lorretta Runyan - Big Jon's wife is black? (She isn't. But seriously how many white ladies do you know with the name Loretta?)
Whitney Kolb - Much like the untalented 4th year players on Senior's night, she will most certainly be benched after the first 2 minutes of this game. Irving Fryar will then send in Mike Vick's woman as a 'spark'.
Kendra Baskett was supposed to play on this Dream Team, but since her husband Hank sucks and is no longer an Eagle, I doubt she'll be joining in on the fun.

In all seriousness, this is actually for a very good cause. Tickets are $25 and the game is taking place at the Rutgers Camden Gym. Proceeds will benefit the American Lung Association, Keisha and Levon Kirkland - Tackling Cancer Fund, and Susan G. Komen for the Cure. Cancer is a horrible and vicious disease that nearly everyone has been touched by in some way. If you can't go to the game and can spare some cash, please donate to this very worthy cause.

/dick joke