Friday, October 8, 2010


Honestly, I just don't know what to say anymore. Jimmy Rollins, who has been awful with the bat, lofts a fly ball to right field that Jay Bruce probably catches 99 out of 100 times. Maybe even 199 out of 200. But of course, because this Phillies team enjoys making the improbable probable, he loses the ball in the lights, Brandon Phillips muffs the relay and two runs score. Suddenly a 4-0 game is 5-4 Phillies. I still can't believe it happened and I'm not sure I will until I see the replay about 50 more times.

This Phillies team keeps winning in the craziest ways. I mean, let's just think about this for a minute. The Reds bring in their 104 MPH flame-throwing lefty, Aroldis Chapman, to face a Phillies lineup that hasn't exactly been killing the ball in this series. He barely hits Utley, makes Howard look really dumb in the just three pitches and then gets Werth to ground into an easy play to third. Yet Rolen goes to second (a dumb move, honestly with crappy Rollins coming up) and Utley is called safe. Then the Bruce play happens. Wow. Just add this to the list, these games have become the norm.

The Phillies now have a great chance to wrap the series up Sunday night. The Reds have to be shell shocked and Hamels has owned them recently. Things are looking good.

Go Phils.

Photo from

Dolla Dolla Bills Yall: Week 5 NFL Spread Picks

You may have not known this, but the Shark is also a huge baseball fan.  There's some completely unfounded rumors swirling this hat was made with yours truly in mind.  Some say this cap is an abomination, others think it's kinda fresh.  Understand: there's a very fine line between cool and corny.  Not everyone has the ability to see this line, and many have cloudy judgment between the two.  Let's just say I probably wouldn't wear it, but I bet Donovan McNabb would rock the shit out of this hat.

Anywho, we went 11-3(!) last week against the spread, making us 37-22-3 overall.  I can't wait till Al Pacino seeks out my genius, whisks me away, and gives me an extravagant penthouse to live in where all I do is "pick winners and lift weights". 

Enough commentary. Hit the jump to get to this week's selections.  I'm going to warn you now - this is one of the tougher weeks so far this season. 

Opinion: You All Better F*cking Support the Flyers

By TWW friend Anonymous
I understand that Hockey is an afterthought to many sports fans around the country, primarily because it is not an “American” game, and national media coverage limits any type of in-depth knowledge of the players and story lines that can make sports more attractive. There are a lot of foreigners with crazy names, and not enough black guys to gauge athleticism. I get it. But this isn’t the rest of the country, this is Philadelphia, and here in Philadelphia, we love us our Flyers.

Let’s not forget that the Flyers were in the Cup last season. Regardless of how it happened, we were there, and it was a great series that really elevated the status of hockey in this town. The Winter Classic, the Olympics, and the Playoffs were captivating as hell. Even Maurice watched them. Hockey is a great sport, and for those of you who just made a Ruxin face at that comment, F U -- your ostentatious ignorance and narrow minded provincialisms are cockblocking your senses, homey. Yous guys need to get up for this championship caliber team and welcome back our boys in the Orange and Black this season with the same amount of Philly passion you delve out toward the Phillies and Eagles! Don’t be a Phugasi Phan, it’s 4 for 4 or nothing.



Today marks the one year anniversary of TheWizWit, going back to our first post on October 8, 2009 concerning our shared hatred of Samuel Dalembert. Months later, Sammy was traded. Coincidence? You decide.

Anyway, we'd like to thank all of our reader(s) for your support and plan to continue doing what we do best: blogging instead of being successful at our day jobs. We may not have the power of The700Level, the pageviews of Crossing Broad, or the T-shirt enterprise of ZooWithRoy, but I'm pretty sure we have more cursing and dick jokes than all of them combined.

To us!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

The Day After....

Thank you Twitter Phils Phans (and one Blue Jays fan) for doing just what the eff you're supposed to do after your ace says the nay-no to the entire city of Cincinnati.

Philadelphia, enjoy the day. Watch the clips on repeat. Check out the Doc's report card. Tag a motherlovin' wall. Whatever celebration you choose, do it up.

(Yester)day was a good day.

Roy Halladay was right. Funner indeed.

h/t to @zoowithroy, @BlueJayHunter, @itsStephGrace, @SusiKenna

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


Yea, so that was rather impressive. 9 innings, zero hits. In case you haven't heard, Roy Halladay is incredibly good at baseball. Go celebrate just witnessed the greatest start in NL postseason history. More to come...

<3 Roy Halladay <3

Eagles Receivers Still Wide Open, Waiting on Kolb Pass

NFL Network's NFC Playbook show -- an otherwise lame program that I imagine is masturbation material for people like Mike Martz -- featured a segment dedicated to Kevin Kolb and his missed opportunities last week. Because human people should only watch NFL Network when it's completely necessary (except Rich Eisen...he's alright in my book), I've provided you with a synopsis of what was covered.

1.  Dudes was open.
2.  Dudes wasn't thrown balls.
3.  Dude needs to hit open dudes next week.

BOOM!  Where's my contract, NFL Network?

What This Boxscore Tells Me

Last night was the preseason opener for the Sixers.  Sadly, they were dispatched by the Russians.  This game wasn't shown on TV or announced on the radio, so this game might as well have never happened.  However, that won't stop me from gathering an opinion based off the statistical evidence provided to us. 
  • Evan Turner, didn't have a great game shooting from the field, but managed to hit 10 of 12 free throws in 25 minutes.  That's very encouraging and should alleviate some concern you had about his poor performance in Summer League.  It's natural for a college player's shot to take a little time to develop where he's actually comfortable going through the motions of an NBA game.  Regardless of how long it takes for Turner to find his shot, a guy that has the ability to get to the line the way ET did last night is typically always successful.  You should feel good about this.
  • The Sixers still cannot make a 3 pointer to save their lives. They can't defend them either.  This will be a brutal reality all season long.
  • Marreese Speights was a bright spot in terms of total points and rebounds as he led the team in both categories.  He was even the only Sixer (besides Thad who left very early) to finish on the plus side in the +/- category.  Speights for MVP!
  • Sike. Speights shoots too damn much.  He's like Al Jefferson.  Except inefficient and not as good. 
  • Jrue had a nice stat line of 10-5-4 with 3 steals, but it looks like he was kind of careless with ball.  5 turnovers in 28 minutes isn't going to get the job done.  But again, it's the first preseason game, so I'm not really worried here. I'm a big Jrue supporter.
  • Spencer Hawes is the worst.  He clearly has no idea how to play defense.  His +/- on the court was a team worst -17.  Hawes is going to be a huge liability down low.  This team will be eaten alive by any big man with even the smallest amount of talent.  Also, young Spencer will foul out of every game in a futile attempt to girl-slap the large black man dunking on him.  This is fact.
So there you have it.  Who needs to actually watch a game to know what's going on?  Not me.  Not one bit.

Monday, October 4, 2010

NLDS Preview: Phillies vs. Reds

I know what you’re thinking: “I’ve read about 37 preview articles already about this series, what the hell could you possibly tell me that I don’t already know?”

The answer: Stop complaining and read a 38th.

Anyway, our Phillies get underway at 5:07 p.m. Wednesday against the Cincinnati Reds. Yes, those same Reds that the Phils swept in a four game set right before the All-Star break. With a 5-2 record against them this year, the Phillies have certainly shown they can beat this team. Plus, the Reds were only 18-34 against winning teams this year, a record that is underwhelming to say the least. However, the Reds are probably a better team than anyone realizes, so I’m here to give you a quick rundown of everything you should know before you sit down, or stand up to watch the game on Wednesday.

Eagles 12, Redskins 17: Slow Clap

So for those of you keeping score at home: McNabb out, Kolb in, Kolb out, Vick in, Vick out, Kolb in. And hopefully Kolb out. Very, very soon.

I may stand alone here as the guy starting the slow clap for our former QB, but it's totally justified. We got what we deserved. McSoup didn't play great, but he played well enough to win a game he probably wanted more than any of us could imagine. Hogmurder had his shot at history -- and beating McNabb in his first return game after Vick got injured would surely be historic -- but alas, it was not to be.

So what did we learn? Kevin Kolb is a Scared Shell of a Quarterback, Owen is the Schmitt, Appreciate Shady, Eagles got Clocked, Mike Bell Sucks, Where's the Rush?, Asante's Business Decisions, Countdown to Meltdown, The Prophet Barkley, and McNabb's Last Laugh.