Friday, July 16, 2010

Athlete Website Review!

Periodically, TheWizWit will be bringing an athlete’s website to light. Some sites may be good. Most will be terrible. But it's the learning experience that will bring us all together.

So without further ado, let's get to our review of Trevor Laws' site! You know, before he gets cut.

I, For One, Will Be Rooting for the Miami nWo

With all of our (and Bill Simmons') comparisons of Lebron James to heel-turning nWo Hollywood Hulk Hogan, I'm glad someone was actually patient (and nerdy) enough to craft this gem.

"I did everything for the charities, I did everything for the kids. And [with] the reception I got when I came out fans can STICK IT, brother!"

[cue Lebron's music, which is probably Jay-Z or Will Smith's "Miami"]

Video after the jump.
UPDATE! Even FUNNIER video below that one.
UPDATE UPDATE!! Another Lebron nWo clip.  I'm on fi-yah!

Sex with Teammate's Wife = Page Views

According to (probably unfounded) rumors, Jayson Werth was/is having sex with Chase Utley's wife Jen. He's down with OPP, much more than he's down with OBP. And, according to our Google Analytics report, you nosey rascals are all about that shit. Maybe starting TMZ-like Philly Sports cele-blog isn't such a bad idea...

That Jeff Carter infidelity search is the cherry on top.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Elton Brand is Totally Available, Billy

Not too much else for me to say - Bill Simmons summed that up pretty well. Enjoy all the long, terrible contracts and head-scratching trades!

Just be careful Nets fans - Kenny Thomas AND Brian Skinner are free agents right now.

Now if only the Sixers current GM wasn’t Eddie Stefanski…

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Philadelphia Eagles Madden 11 Player Ratings

Full ratings here.  What's wrong?

Kevin Kolb 75 Overall
This is egregious. I understand that all of the ratings have been down the past couple of years and that I may be drinking the kelly green Kool-Aid here, but KK is better than a 75. There's no way that Andy Reid trades his franchise quarterback and decade-long butt bro Donovan McNabb IN THE DIVISION to start a 75. Chad Henne is a 75. And his face looks stupid. Hopefully we see this push 80 after a couple weeks into the season.

And is third-string rookie Mike Kafka's accuracy really better than our other QBs? Hmm. Weird.

Asante Samuel 29 Tackle rating
I know the dude isn't a great tackler, but a 29 tackle rating is ridiculous. I have a 29 tackle rating. Prepare to witness absurd tackle-breaking scenarios with dudes like Brett Favre or the fake-punt guy all game.

DeSean Jackson 95 Swagger Rating
So EA has sold even more of their game, this time adding in the hilariously unnecessary "Swagger" rating. Perhaps the Swagger ratings are a bit reverse racist, but how in the world is DeSean 'DJacc' Jackson only a 95 Swagger rating? LOOK at this motherfucker. This is a guy who publicly chest-bumps his 500lb coach. This is the same guy that not once but TWICE missed out on a touchdown because he was trying to celebrate into the endzone. On his Twitter he says things like "what up loco halla at ya nephew" to goddamn Snoop Dogg. @Desean Jackson, you are swagged out. Give this man his 99.

Oh yeah, how does Stuart Bradley have the lowest (45 Swag) on the team? He's lower than King Dunlap. Stu Brad is doing interviews with Drake!

Jason Avant 82 Catch
No way, bruh. [Jesus hands]

Daniel Te'o-Nesheim is a 0
'Cause apparently he's not on the team. What you got against Somoans, ESPN? They do the Humpty Dance, too!

A Thousand Volts of Brotherly Love

Looking for some shizz to get you through the life-draining work day?  Well the folks over at have created this entertaining little game for us Philly fans.  Or really anyone that has 20 minutes to kill and enjoys electrocuting humans. 

Go check out the game HERE.  It's raining and it's only Tuesday - I suggest you get some type of enjoyment out of this day.

Monday, July 12, 2010

That LeBron Heel Turn Seemed Pretty Successful

LeBron James hate-sites are predictably popping up all over the place. The shirt to the left is from

Regardless of what you personally think about LeBron, his decision, or ESPN, you have to admit this was pretty much the quickest and most abrupt heel turn since Hulk Hogan joined the nWo. Right now, LeBron James is the athlete people love to hate – especially the poor bastards in Cleveland. You thought Philly hated Michael Irvin? Cleveland's level of hatred is ten times greater.

So with that, we’ll leave you with one last piece of internet fodder before TheWizWit (hopefully) closes the LeBron James chapter for the foreseeable future: