BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Yea, so J-Werth got booed tonight. No big surprise there I guess. He also went 2 for 3 with a ding dong off Heavy B (who is certainly off to quite the start this year, I must add). Either way, the video above is a much better way to remember him than his play tonight. Tonight was like the first time you see your ex after she cheats on you. You're really pissed off at first but then you decide to watch that video you have of her from that time you did her doggie in her parents bedroom. Then you post it on the internets.

F'in Jayson Werth.

Was it WERTH it?

We've all been there Jayson, hard up for some attention, and desperate for love. But, in your case the fat girl beej came in the form of a $126 million contract with the Nationals.

Jayson Werth will have his chance to prove he's not still embarrassed about his situation when the Phillies head to Washington Tuesday night.

In the first game Werth will face his former chubby chasing-wing man Joe Blanton.

Halladay and Lee come Wednesday and Thursday, but probably not in the mouth of a great big fat person.

Maybe Bryce Harper Was Onto Something

It was reported this afternoon that Jayson Werth has signed a 7 year, 126 million dollar contract with the Washington Nationals. Sure, most people will look at that contract and say "Wow, guess Werth doesn't care about winning," "He only cares about the money," or the ever popular "He sold out." But, as sports fans in the modern age of 24 hour-sports news cycles and athlete tweets, is it not time we stopped being surprised by these signings and just moved past the hate? Can you logically blame a guy for turning down a dump truck full of cash? It would be tough for you to turn down an offer of 250k a year to clean the shitty stalls of a run-down gas station, no? Well, Werth chose the high-pay shit work -- and more power to him.

Anyway, back in October, future Nationals superstar and all-around THIS Bryce Harper was quoted as saying:

I think in the next couple years we will be the Yankees of the NL East. I have been telling everyone that. We are going to roll. We are going to win some World Series'.

Then we all laughed and commended him on his exceptional sense of humor. But maybe The Chosen One is onto something. Maybe the Nats will make fools of all of us. Maybe they’ll sign Cliff Lee next week. Maybe all those high draft picks will blossom at the same time and propel them to championships. Or maybe this was simply a colossal waste of money. Time will tell I guess.

The bad news about this deal for the Phillies? Since the Phils offered Werth arbitration, they would receive the first round pick of the team that signed him. The Nationals hold the rights to the 6th overall pick - and unfortunately for the Phillies, that pick is protected. Instead, we'll have to settle for Nats' second round pick plus a compensatory pick.

All in all, no one really thought Werth was staying, so none of us should be too surprised.  Let it go and look forward to 2011, Phillies fans.

The One Where Jamie Moyer's Elbow Turned to Dust

He was quickly diagnosed as suffering from "a touch of old". Wacky medical terms.

Don't feel bad for him though, the mere mention of Jamie Moyers' name causes women to climax. Something about dry skin and Brut aftershave on neckbeard makes ladies go wild.

Ehhh, maybe not. The injury looks like an elbow strain and he'll be on the DL for a while.

In case you didn't see the game last night, Ruben Amaro appeared in the pre-game to chat with Tom McCarthy. He seemed to let on he knows exactly what he plans to do in terms of trading. Something is definitely going to go down. Shortly thereafter, Moyer got hurt and was replaced by the newly called up Andrew Carpenter. Carpenter then quickly surrendered homers.

Then the "Jayson Werth to the Rays, Roy Oswalt to the Phillies, and prospects to the Astros" talk heated up over the internets during the game. The trade makes sense for all parties involved and I wouldn’t be surprised if it went down. A better long-term move may be for Dan Haren though. He's struggled early this year, but he's a legit Ace and great #2 who'd be asked to fall in behind Halladay and Hamels. Then there's JA Happ still working shit out in the minors (he'll likely take Kendrick's spot Saturday).

With the trade deadline a week and half away, I'm 100% sure someone new is coming to the Phillies rotation. I just hope they go with Oswalt or Haren. If they trade anything of value for a year of Ben Sheets, I'll be awful salty.

Sex with Teammate's Wife = Page Views

According to (probably unfounded) rumors, Jayson Werth was/is having sex with Chase Utley's wife Jen. He's down with OPP, much more than he's down with OBP. And, according to our Google Analytics report, you nosey rascals are all about that shit. Maybe starting TMZ-like Philly Sports cele-blog isn't such a bad idea...

That Jeff Carter infidelity search is the cherry on top.

Phils to Trade Werth Because He is a Home Wrecker

Not really. Unless you believe twitter and internet rumors.

TheDirty reported that a ‘very reliable clubhouse source’ has said Jayson Werth is having sensual beard-sex with Chase Utley’s wife. Go ahead and get all the “Jen Utley - so easy a caveman can do it” jokes off your chest, I’ll wait.

Obviously, that report is just silly, and the chances of TheDirty being correct here are about as likely as Chris ‘Birdman’ Anderson not being high as shit right now. I'm quite sure there's no truth to a Werth/Utely affair.

But that talk of Werth being traded? Well that came from a legitimate source:

Jayson Werth's Beard Counted To Infinity. Twice.

Jayson Werth and his absolutely fantastic beard have been the talk of spring training thus far. First the Internet spawned a Facebook fan site and Twitter account. Even Gillette's Twitter got in on the fun and has launched a campaign to shave Werth's beard.  The beard has taken on a life of its' own.

But now, the inevitable third step has been taken. Photoshop fan sites are in full effect, providing us with dozens of great, hairy Werth pictures.

JAYSON WERTH BEARD PHOTO TIME after the jump!

Beard-mentum is Back and Better Than Ever

When the Phillies released Eric Brunlett, the biggest worry was where they were going to get all of their beard-mentum. Beard-mentum, for those who don't know, is extremely important when it comes to winning a World Series. Without Brunlett's beard-mentum, the Phillies may not have prevailed in 2008 against the Rays.

So it's great to know that Jayson Werth has shown up at spring training ready to accept the role of Mr. Beard-mentum for the 2010 Philadelphia Phillies. No worries now folks, the championship is on it's way.

Special thanks to Philly.com for the photo. Not that they know I took it, but my mother always told me to be polite and say thank you, so I am.