E.T. HAS LANDED! SIXERS DRAFT EVAN TURNER!

We took the best player available. Let's hope that lucky ball from Heaven that mysteriously handed the Philadelphia 76ers the #2 overall pick pays off. As long as Derrick Favors doesn't turn out to be Dwight Howard*, we should be extremely happy to have Evan Turner on this team. 

*superman dunk = g.o.a.t.

Ron Artest Wouldn’t Even Do This

Here we have Kobe Bryant and family celebrating the NBA Championship in Disneyland.

Is it me, or is Kobe committing a pretty big foul here? You can't go around wearing a t-shirt featuring a big picture of your OWN face. Didn't anyone tell him the lead singer can't wear a shirt with the name of the band on it? If nothing else, it just looks… uh, goofy (PUN INTENDED! HONK, HONK!)

Seriously though… come on Kobe, you're better than that.


[Pic via Ocean County Register thru 'Recommended Reading' at the700level]

Johan Like-a The Sexy Time

So apparently Johan Santana was accused of rape last year. On a golf course. TMZ has the story, but it's only fair to note he has never been formally charged with any wrong-doing.

However - in light of this news, I'm starting to seriously think his other thumb IS up that girl's cornhole.

We Love You Donovan! (Not McNabb)

So I was at an off-site work meeting for most of this morning, constantly sneaking glimpses at my co-workers' Android phone-powered live feed of this match / trying not to get fired. What...OFFISDES!? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

[whispering]
"We just need to bomb every country with a FIFA ref, period."
"Oh, totally."

Second half was spent in the office, blatantly watching the shit en español on Univision's website. Then it happened. 91st minute stoppage-time goal by newly-christened American Hero Landon F. Donovan. The office exploded. Car horns and cheers coming from the streets. Full on Sparta.

TheWizWit Wallpaper Wednesday!

Although this picture was already featured before in a previous post, we here at TWW feel that it didn't get enough shine. PLUS, it was our first genuine user submission. So many thanks to TheWizWit friend Dave P. for giving us this masterpiece send-off to everyone's least favorite (ex) Sixer, Sammy Deez.

Oh Keanu, won't you ever cheer up?

Goodbye To You

Greg Dobbs is no longer a Phillie.

I understand this is a sad day for all, especially since Dobbs was so goddamn terrible. I mean, the dude was batting .152 this year. He was absolutely useless considering he couldn't play the field (he was otherworldly bad at third) AND since he never got regular playing time he was struggling as a pinch hitter. Honestly, this might be addition by subtraction. (Granted, there is a chance he makes it through waivers and is optioned to Triple-A. However, he can simply refuse that assignment and go off on his merry way. I'm assuming a guy like him, who probably thinks he can contribute with regular playing time, will end up leaving and latching on somewhere. But who cares really?)

Ultimately though, we will remember Dobbs for his awesome 2008 season where he was the best pinch hitter in the history of time. He was a contributer on the World F-in' Champions, so for that we'll be forever grateful. And, of course, we'll always remember his grand salami against the Mets in '07. That hit helped the Phils sweep the Mets and moved them only 3.5 games back in early September. We all know what happened next.

Fuck the Mets. Love you forever, Lou Dobbs.

I Feel A Winning Streak Coming On

Jimmy Rollins was activated from the disabled list today and was immediately put back in the leadoff spot.

It's been said many times, but Rollins is what makes this team go. He may not be the ideal leadoff hitter, but this team just seems to perform way better when he's in there. This could be just what the Phils needed as they seek some consistency.

Prediction – Rollins propels this team to win 12 out of the next 15, saves a drowning cat, makes Paul O’Neil look like a bitch, and fixes that whole oil spill fiasco.

The fun begins tonight when the Cleveland Indians come to town and are promptly smothered to death by the swagger that drips off Rollins' shnuts.