We Love You Donovan! (Not McNabb)

So I was at an off-site work meeting for most of this morning, constantly sneaking glimpses at my co-workers' Android phone-powered live feed of this match / trying not to get fired. What...OFFISDES!? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

[whispering]
"We just need to bomb every country with a FIFA ref, period."
"Oh, totally."

Second half was spent in the office, blatantly watching the shit en español on Univision's website. Then it happened. 91st minute stoppage-time goal by newly-christened American Hero Landon F. Donovan. The office exploded. Car horns and cheers coming from the streets. Full on Sparta.

Boo This Man!

This is the guy responsible for several awful calls in the USA/Slovenia match including a bullshit call-back of the 3rd goal winner for the US. He is Koman Coulibaly from Mali. He's the reason we tied instead of won. He stinks.

USA Head Coach Bob Bradley: "I still don't know why the goal was disallowed."

Neither do we, Bob. Did the U.S. do something evil to Mali at some point (besides probably turning some of its people in slaves several hundred years ago)? According to Wikipedia, "Mali’s relations with the West in general and with the United States in particular have improved significantly". What the French, Toast? We ain't cool?

Koman Coulibaly, go back to Mali, play your Kora, and eat a diet heavily based on cereal grains you Darryl Strawberry-headed snake!

Jackass of the Day Award: Jim Joyce

If you have ever made a terrible mistake, you'll certainly empathize with what Jim Joyce did tonight. Detroit Tigers pitcher Armando Galarraga was one out away from a perfect game when the fu manchu wearing dumbo Joyce decided to call Jason Donald safe.

Unacceptable.