Saturday, July 24, 2010

Yet Another Lebron Post: Lebrontourage

What I believe to be the core of the Lebron James argument, in a very small nutshell:

The older generation thinks the younger generation has a sense of self-entitlement. They also feel that the younger generation is lazier and less competitive than their generation.

Jordan is John McClane, Kobe is Maximus, and Lebron is Vincent Chase*. [Justin Johnson, Detroit]

I guess if Lebron is Vinnie Chase, Wade is Ari, and Bosh is E...maybe Big Z is Drama?

*Jay-Z looks like a blind gay Denzel Washington

Phils Bats Wake Up, Give Milt Thompson The Double Middle Finger

Hey! The Phillies hit tonight! 12 hits and 6 runs en-route to a shut-out victory over the Rockies. It probably had nothing to do with new hitting coach Greg Gross, but this was a perfect way to start off a home stand - especially after dropping 6 of 8 on the road coming out of the All Star break.

Every starter (except Valdez) got a hit tonight. Even Roy Halladay got in on the fun with a single. Besides the win itself, all you really need to know is the mere fact that the Phils put the bat on the ball and Halladay dominated. Plus, Carlos Ruiz came up to bat with Phil Collins "In the Air Tonight", so that was pretty awesome.  All around it was an encouraging performance and hopefully a preview of what’s to come over the next couple months.

On a side note, how many of you despise the ballpark wedding proposal?  It seriously seems like EVERY game I've been to this year has had one of these.  They're awful and tonight's was no exception.  It's just so lame.  Your girl can't possibly want that.  I'm quite sure those two will end up arguing over who keeps the Roy Halladay Fathead in divorce court.

Phils try and do it again tomorrow - this time against Ubaldo.  Game time is 4pm.  It's supposed to be stupid hot tomorrow, so if you have tickets, try not to die.

TheWizWit looks after the community.

Friday, July 23, 2010

The Eagles Chose This Man To Be The Face of Season Tickets

Actually, the Eagles held a contest for fans to write in and tell them what makes you such a passionate Birds fan. Yesterday they announced the 10 winners - one for each of the 8 regular season games and 2 more for the preseason contests. The winner for that week will appear on the front of all tickets issued for that particular game… you know, instead of players that people actually care about. Coldcuts McChin here is on the first preseason ticket against the Jaguars.

The complete group of rag-tag winners after the jump.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Kolb Slobbering

Tom Heckert. Courtesy of Bleeding Green Nation.

Philly Soccer Fans Still Philly Fans

Manchester United -- the richest and most famous sports team in the world -- played its first stateside match in six years yesterday at a sold-out Linc against our expansion MLS Philadelphia Union. Although Man U ended up winning the match 1-0 without several of their starters, the Union looked impressive by all accounts. What am I most impressed with? The all-star play of F Sebastien Le Toux? The grit of MLS rookie Danny Mwanga? Nope. I'm impressed with Philly fans.

According to the Philadelphia Union Facebook page, the Sons of Ben (our cheering section) held shit down for Philly and massaged the ears of the Man U players and fans all night with "You Suck Asshole" chants and other miscellaneous vulgarities.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The One Where Jamie Moyer's Elbow Turned to Dust

He was quickly diagnosed as suffering from "a touch of old". Wacky medical terms.

Don't feel bad for him though, the mere mention of Jamie Moyers' name causes women to climax. Something about dry skin and Brut aftershave on neckbeard makes ladies go wild.

Ehhh, maybe not. The injury looks like an elbow strain and he'll be on the DL for a while.

In case you didn't see the game last night, Ruben Amaro appeared in the pre-game to chat with Tom McCarthy. He seemed to let on he knows exactly what he plans to do in terms of trading. Something is definitely going to go down. Shortly thereafter, Moyer got hurt and was replaced by the newly called up Andrew Carpenter. Carpenter then quickly surrendered homers.

Then the "Jayson Werth to the Rays, Roy Oswalt to the Phillies, and prospects to the Astros" talk heated up over the internets during the game. The trade makes sense for all parties involved and I wouldn’t be surprised if it went down. A better long-term move may be for Dan Haren though. He's struggled early this year, but he's a legit Ace and great #2 who'd be asked to fall in behind Halladay and Hamels. Then there's JA Happ still working shit out in the minors (he'll likely take Kendrick's spot Saturday).

With the trade deadline a week and half away, I'm 100% sure someone new is coming to the Phillies rotation. I just hope they go with Oswalt or Haren. If they trade anything of value for a year of Ben Sheets, I'll be awful salty.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Horseshoes and Hand Grenades

I'm writing this for four reasons:

1) I haven't written much of anything recently since I'm at work from 8 - 8 everyday. Doesn't leave much room for anything else. At least I'm not working surrounded by Yankees, Mets and Giants fans. Oh wait...I am.

2) I just finished reading Bill Simmons' book Now I Can Die In Peace, a lovely novel that I suggest you read even if you hate the Red Sox (which I do). It makes you feel better about being a sports fan while still having you question why you care so much in the first place the entire time. It's really the perfect "sports fan manifesto."

Kevin Kolb Will Kill You

We've all heard the stories of how Kolb slays wild hogs for fun.  We also know he's a country boy who loves to talk wildlife and would easily win the TV show 'Survivor' (if it hadn't jumped the shark 10 years ago). 

610 WIP's Anthony Gargano has a published account of yet another badass Kevin Kolb exploit.  SPOILER: it involves snakes, boots, and a .38.

DeSean Jackson Could've Died Last Night

No details have been released regarding how ‘popn’ the event was at the time of the shooting.

Also, if you read DeSean’s twitter, how surprised are you that the Eagles don’t ask him to stop tweeting things like "U gay" and “Fucc you” to people? I love the freedom of speech, but with how sensitive our media is with what athletes say (or Tweet), this is a slow-motion car crash if I've ever seen it.

But seriously, thank you God. Philadelphia needs the wonderfully ignorant and entertaining DeSean Jackson, you know, alive.

Monday, July 19, 2010

This is News??

Eagles Training Camp needs to start, pronto. The Philly sports "news" I've been forced to read is so remarkably dull that I'm actually writing a post about how remarkably dull it is. I literally saw a headline today that read "Herremans says foot is fine." Are you shitting me?

So I actually clicked on this article and, sure enough, Todd Herremans says of his foot: "It will be fine." Yay.

The article is a total of 423 words. Another article on, this one concerning new anti-poverty iniatives in Camden, is 623 words. For realsies, the difference between these stories needs to be more than 200 words.

Also on, I found this story (Alice is a fan of toys) sandwiched in between coverage of Hungarian crash victims and the Philadelphia mayoral election. Go Inquirer!

I just...I just need real philly sports news that's not about Flyers trades or how bad the Phillies look. I swear to God if I have to read another story on Cornelius Ingram's knee I'm going on a tri-state murder spree.

If you feel like me, maybe this'll brighten up your day. A smiley Randy Moss and a walrus after the jump.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Tim Hasselbeck Wants You to Draft Kevin Kolb

He would also appreciate it if you would stop comparing him to his brother. And hey, lay off his wife while you're at it.