So Ian Kinsler decided to take a shot at DeSean Jackson, Mike Vick and Manny Ramirez for no reason at all by saying this:
"This isn't DeSean Jackson or Michael Vick or Manny Ramirez," Kinsler said, according to Richard Durrett of ESPNDallas.com. "Michael Young is a professional. It would be completely out of his personality not to be here."
Ok, I get why he included Manny. That actually makes perfect sense. But DeSean and Vick? Neither of them have ever demanded a trade or spoke ill of their organizations. What the hell is up his cornhole? It's kind of a dick move if you ask me. If nothing else, maybe Michael Young should stick around to play some second base when Kinsler misses a quarter of the season during his yearly DL stint.
To whoever eaglesphillyfootball is, outstanding work. This video does an amazing job of building up the entire dramatic comeback, the return and then fan reactions - all in one nice and neat package.
Honestly, I have no idea how this video has only 538 views, apparently people haven't been searching YouTube for 'desean jackson punt return from the stands' nearly as much as I have. Again, just the depth of sports (and life) exploration that TWW goes through every single day...just for you. Enjoy.
(Best moment is at the 4:50 mark, during the fan reactions. Hilarious.)
First off, yes, this was done in the SNES version, not the original NES version that we all know, love and prefer. However, it is pretty bad ass, and sync's up pretty nicely to the audio. Of course, that audio is Joe Buck...but I guess you can't win them all.
Anyway, here are some other moments in NFL history according to Tecmo Bowl. Enjoy.
TheWizWit has numerous private emails from many of Philadelphia sports' biggest names. We will leak them as we please.
Rosie,
Aye cuh. I KNOW you seend the game last nite. The hole WORLD is ridin my nuts ova the game last nite. N you kno what everybody in the entire world was thinkin wen they saw me MAKE HISTORY last nite?
I dont kno how I can make it more clear for you that i need WAY MORE than 800,000 hommie. Last time we talked to Jeff Lurie he was on that we-gotta-pay-vick stuff. Fcc Ron Mexico got ta do wit me??? Why i gotta pay for dat niccas herpes medicine!!!
Aye Brodie we both kno I'm the best at what i do. But then why am I not getting PAIDDD like the best at what i do!! Vick put us in a position to lose in overtime, I WON THA GAME. I burnt em up like cali kush. ROLLENNNNNNNN.
Now i gotta put up wit Andy Reid callin me midget n givin me nuggies n shyt aye Ima SUPERSTAR homey wit my game nothin is unpossible. Look at this:
AND did u kno Im the 1st person EVRR to make the pro bowl in 2 DIFFERENT POSITIONS!!! DID YOU KNOW THAT SHTT!!
Checc it, I kno you asked me to be more professional in my presentations, so I made a diagram 4 u:
Blingee DeSean is here with some Christmas cheer and Tom Coughlin is none too pleased! For those of you that don't celebrate Christmas, too bad. There weren't any "Happy Kwanzaa" blingee graphics. Live with it.
Check out this video from the Eagles' locker room immediately following their 27-17 victory over the New York Giants. In the video DeSean Jackson addresses the team, says that "two-five" (LeSean McCoy) won them the gave, but in the end gives ultimate credit to the linemen. Their reward? Dinner anywhere on him.
One of the players in the background yells "We wanna go to LA." I'm sure DJacc wouldn't mind. [Warning: video loudly auto-plays so if you're reading this in a feed...you've probably already noticed]
Madden 2004 - It happened. The promise of Michael Vick's full potential was fulfilled this Monday night in Landover, Maryland. You know the stats: 20/28 for 333 yards passing, 4 passing touchdowns, 80 yards rushing, and 2 rushing touchdowns. Yes, this changes everything.
ESPN may have the Falcons at #1 on their Power Rankings this week, but they were beaten handedly by the Eagles less than a month ago with a backup quarterback. NFL fans are now realizing that they are literally witnessing football history on a weekly basis. Mike Vick is undefeated in any game he has started and finished. He has zero interceptions. He has zero lost fumbles. He's running a very complex offensive scheme with absolute ease. He's piloting the leagues most explosive offense to new heights in a year where most of the Super Bowl favorites have been grounded. Shit, the Pro Football Hall of Fame even requested Vick's jersey from Monday night. This is big. This is historic. This is Madden 2004.
Michael Vick is in a position to make one of the greatest comebacks in sports history. A mercenary field general with a cannon arm and a killer instinct is leading a team of talent-drenched kids through the NFL jungle. Neither NFL golden boy Peyton Manning nor friendly foe Donovan McNabb could stop them. What exactly are we witnessing here?
With 7 weeks remaining in the regular season and so much left unanswered, this story is far from over. But as of now, if this Philadelphia Eagles team can stay healthy, it looks like there is a legitimate shot of Michael Vick -- the same man who spent 2 years in prison and last year running 2-yard wildcat plays -- hoisting the Lombardi trophy.
The NFL: Where Amazing Happens.
What else did we learn? LaRon Landry Got His, Dimitri Patterson's Hands are Sticky, Jerome Harrison: Karma Police, Beat 'em After a Bye, Steve Young: Critic turned Believer, How to Beat Vick, Andy Reid Back Pats, Mike Vick Head Explosion Meter, DeSean's Record, Worst to First, and Fuck the Giants.
The NFL is Rigged - The spread was +3 for the Colts. The Colts were down 9 points late in the fourth quarter. Something needed to change.
Fast forward to 4th and 18. Last chance for the defending AFC champs. Trent Cole bursts off the line, and although Peyton Manning does a solid job of keeping cool in a closing pocket, the self-proclaimed Quarterback Hunter gets to the 4-time MVP and takes him down. Sack. Game blouses.
Oh wait, no, it isn't. Why? BECAUSE THE NFL IS RIGGED.
I can deal with the call in the first half on the Austin Collie hit. I can deal with the terrible defensive interference on Dimitri Patterson. There was a blurry line for each of those and it can be understood why the refs would call them how they did. But the 4th and 18 call was all-too blatant. In that fraction of time when the yellow hankie went flying in Trent Cole's direction for ACCIDENTLY TOUCHING THE BACK OF PEYTON MANNING'S HELMET, the 4th wall for me was dropped and I saw the awful truth. The NFL is rigged folks. It just is.
Fuck it, we won. Unless you bet the Eagles...cause then you lost.
What else did we learn? Vince Vaughn Was There, Why Challenge?, Booing While Freeze-handed Motionless Guy is on Field Should Replace Snowball Santa, Oh No, Nate!, CBS: NFC = WCW, Michael Vick's Arm is Stupid, Andy Reid was a Giant Child, and Countdown to Showdown.
Widened helmet for advanced cranium support, enlarged face mask, siren and illuminated safety lights, a "Brain on Board" warning sign, and the new NFL Caution Towel. Safety first.
Both of the above screen grabs are available through NFL.com's Photo Store where the "Best Sellers" go for the bargain rate of $54.95. The NFL recently cracked down on vicious hits and has understandably caught flak for selling photos the penalized James Harrison and Brandon Meriweather hits. The NFL admitted their fault, took responsibility, and vowed "no photos of illegal plays [will be] available again".
Too bad there was no official word on selling photos depicting the aftermath of one player annihilating another. As of this morning, the two photos above were still available to be purchased and framed for your enjoyment. I'm not sure who the hell would be buying up all the photos of injured players, but if you're reaching for your credit card right now, you're probably an asshole. Or a serial killer. You know the type: the ones with a whole room filled with strewn about photographs and newspaper clippings randomly connected by hardware store yarn.
The only thing as disturbing as seeing DeSean Jackson’s motionless body on the turf was having TV cameras catch a glimpse of this fan in the crowd. Worst DeSean Jackson jersey ever? Worst DeSean Jackson jersey ever. What a terribly embarrassing idea. From head to toe, this is just wrong. I’m ashamed for you. If only this kid could've stood in for DeSean as he was getting Dunta’d.
After the jump - For the 45th time this weekend, you can see video of DJax getting annihilated and being scraped off the field.
Michael Vick is heartless, dog-drowning sociopath...if by "heartless, dog-drowning sociopath" you mean the GREATEST QUARTERBACK IN THE WORLD.
Holy shit just look at my dude bein' all menacing and awesome. McNabb? He's a Chunky soup-slurpin', interception-smirking punaniface. Kolb? He sucks. But Michael, oh Michael...you're the one. You're the shit like 50 I'm-the-shit-like similes from Lil' Wayne.
Oh, what's that? You're one of those Eagles fans that could never let MV7 turn the page on his conviction? You're that guy who could never come to grips with the fact that your favorite football team is now being led by Ookie so you openly rooted for his failure? Well I'm here to tell you it's okay -- but I know how you feel:
So what did we learn this week? Well, The Jaguars are Really Really Bad, MV7 for MVP, Save Him for Later, OBEY THE LAWS, DeSean's First Dougie, StewBrad to the Rescue, and Silence for the Dead.
So THAT shit didn't pan out how we wouldda guessed. If you had two season-ending injuries, two concussions, and a return of the Michael Vick Experience scramble party on your scorecard, then you are the winner! And psychic. WIIIIITCH!!!
And while I was hoping I wouldn't have to write a "Pointing Fingers" article this week, there are obviously some interesting things to talk about / blame for this loss including KevinKolbSucksHe'sTerrible, No Love for DeSean, Brent Celek Kidnapping, Winston Justice's Averageness, Ellis Hobbs, Marty Mornhinweg's employment, Andy Reid's genius, and Omar Gaither.
No details have been released regarding how ‘popn’ the event was at the time of the shooting.
Also, if you read DeSean’s twitter, how surprised are you that the Eagles don’t ask him to stop tweeting things like "U gay" and “Fucc you” to people? I love the freedom of speech, but with how sensitive our media is with what athletes say (or Tweet), this is a slow-motion car crash if I've ever seen it.
But seriously, thank you God. Philadelphia needs the wonderfully ignorant and entertaining DeSean Jackson, you know, alive.
Kevin Kolb 75 Overall
This is egregious. I understand that all of the ratings have been down the past couple of years and that I may be drinking the kelly green Kool-Aid here, but KK is better than a 75. There's no way that Andy Reid trades his franchise quarterback and decade-long butt bro Donovan McNabb IN THE DIVISION to start a 75. Chad Henne is a 75. And his face looks stupid. Hopefully we see this push 80 after a couple weeks into the season.
And is third-string rookie Mike Kafka's accuracy really better than our other QBs? Hmm. Weird.
Asante Samuel 29 Tackle rating
I know the dude isn't a great tackler, but a 29 tackle rating is ridiculous. I have a 29 tackle rating. Prepare to witness absurd tackle-breaking scenarios with dudes like Brett Favre or the fake-punt guy all game.
DeSean Jackson 95 Swagger Rating
So EA has sold even more of their game, this time adding in the hilariously unnecessary "Swagger" rating. Perhaps the Swagger ratings are a bit reverse racist, but how in the world is DeSean 'DJacc' Jackson only a 95 Swagger rating? LOOK at this motherfucker. This is a guy who publicly chest-bumps his 500lb coach. This is the same guy that not oncebut TWICE missed out on a touchdown because he was trying to celebrate into the endzone. On his Twitter he says things like "what up loco halla at ya nephew" to goddamn Snoop Dogg. @Desean Jackson, you are swagged out. Give this man his 99.
Oh yeah, how does Stuart Bradley have the lowest (45 Swag) on the team? He's lower than King Dunlap. Stu Brad is doing interviews with Drake!
I feel nervous posting this as I am well aware of the demographic breakup of our readership, and no part of that (besides maybe Anonymous) includes “not-ironic mixtape rap fans.” I'm sure if like Winston Justice had a solo on a Pearl Jam B-side it would go over better, but whatever. Below is a verse from everyone’s favorite anorexic Pro-Bowler DeSean Jackson on some random mixtape freestyle with two Philly rappers: former Rocafella artist Oschino and former Lil’ Wayne foe Gillie da Kid.
While I perked up like iced nipples when I saw the words “DeSean Jackson Rap”, there really is nothing groundbreaking here as the 23 year-old gives us a lazy verse that was probably written in the 20 minutes or so it takes to roll and smoke a blunt. But it’s fun...and hopefully won't get him in trouble like Allen Iverson and his "40 bars" debacle.
I'm a little disappointed that there are no lines about McNabb’s titty fat or Andy Reid’s (completely fabricated) pill addiction. I guess it's not easy to find rhymes for "Oxycontin." Eh, maybe it'll be on the album.
Check out #10 rapping as "Jacc" at around the 1:18 mark after the jump. Oh, and the lyrics, too. Credit to With Leather for finding this.
I've had this sneaking suspicion (my favorite kind of suspicion) that Donovan McNabb and DeSean Jackson don't particularly like each other. Now, I've got the proof flimsy evidence.
EXHIBIT A!
Take into consideration DeSean's various answers when asked about his quarterback returning for the final year on his contract during Pro Bowl week:
"It's a huge decision, especially when you've had a quarterback that has been in the organization for so long."
"It's a tough situation. Donovan has been here a long time and Kolb is a part of the whole group also."
There were also two other instances that I can't find quotes for (sideline interview during the Pro Bowl and yesterdays Jim Rome is Burning) where Jackson decided to emphasize how difficult of a decision the team has to make instead of giving the correct answer, "I expect Donovan to be back." Sure, DeSean is young, but don't confuse youth for ignorance. He knows damn well what he's saying -- and if you listen closely -- you can hear him mouthing the words "fuck you" to DirtPass McSoupSlurp.
EXHIBIT B!
The WAY better exhibit. Check out this clip of Donovan getting interviewed by some kid at the NFC Pro Bowl practice. Initially, the only interesting thing about this clip is how quickly this kid becomes his psychiatrist ("TELL ME ABOUT YA CHILDHOOD!"). But then...THEN...it happens. At around 35 seconds DeSean Jackson and Rod Blagojevich Drew Rosenhaus walk by, just as the kid asks the perfect question.
Kid: What are you horrible at? Passer-by DeSean: Aye, that is a GREAT question.
That shit is pure hilarity. To make it even better, while Donovan F. is conjuring up his regular political nothingspeak, it hits him that he was just dissed hard as fuck by a 23 year-old. That leads to McNabb giving the death stare to our young receiver for a fantastically-uncomfortable two seconds (:43 - :45).
After the jump, if you haven't yet heard, is Snoop Dogg's song for DeSean's website, deseanjackson10.com. This isn't just some rent-a-rapper financial transaction, either -- they're actually good friends. Really. Check out DeSean on Snoop's (short-lived) show Dogg After Dark. And this picture of Snoop in a jersey (with Donald Brashear?). They're both from Long Beach...which I guess makes them supergood friends for some reason. Chuuch!
