Dolla Dolla Bills Yall: Facial Hair, Hicks, and Fighters

For this week's edition, we'll be straying further from our sports-betting comfort zone. The Shark will be serving up picks for a couple growing sports. One I enjoy quite much, and the other I do not understand whatsoever.


Before we get to that, I have made an observation: Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder has a fetish, folks. He apparently has an insatiable craving for quarterbacks. Black ones. With more mustache than the common man would dare sport.

Legal Fantasy Sports Betting Coming to Philly

FanDuel, a site owned by UK-based social gaming company Hubdub, has recently reached its first ever deal with a US newspaper: The Philadelphia Inquirer and Philly.com.

So what does this mean? Well, soon you’ll be able to bet…money…on fantasy sports through Philly.com. And instead of having to wait through the whole damn season to get your duckets, FanDuel specializes in single-day “one-night-stand” fantasy sports. So you pick your fantasy team, bet real money on them, and if they prevail you win real money in return. Gambling!

So how is this legal you ask? Well, according to the 2006 Unlawful Internet Gaming Enforcement Act, betting on fantasy sports online isn’t illegal. This is because fantasy sports requires more skill than chance (I guess) and generally takes an entire season to play out. But in the case of FanDuel these contests only last one day for MLB games or one week for NFL games. Genius!

While at the moment there is a $25 cap on bets, this is still great news all of us sports fans with loose morals. Plus, because most newspapers are behind on their rent at the poorhouse, this may take off nationwide as a quick revenue-building scheme. But Philadelphia gets it first. Go degenerate and desperate Philly!

DeSean Jackson Spits Verse, Nothing Happens

I feel nervous posting this as I am well aware of the demographic breakup of our readership, and no part of that (besides maybe Anonymous) includes “not-ironic mixtape rap fans.” I'm sure if like Winston Justice had a solo on a Pearl Jam B-side it would go over better, but whatever.  Below is a verse from everyone’s favorite anorexic Pro-Bowler DeSean Jackson on some random mixtape freestyle with two Philly rappers: former Rocafella artist Oschino and former Lil’ Wayne foe Gillie da Kid.

While I perked up like iced nipples when I saw the words “DeSean Jackson Rap”, there really is nothing groundbreaking here as the 23 year-old gives us a lazy verse that was probably written in the 20 minutes or so it takes to roll and smoke a blunt. But it’s fun...and hopefully won't get him in trouble like Allen Iverson and his "40 bars" debacle.

I'm a little disappointed that there are no lines about McNabb’s titty fat or Andy Reid’s (completely fabricated) pill addiction. I guess it's not easy to find rhymes for "Oxycontin." Eh, maybe it'll be on the album.

Check out #10 rapping as "Jacc" at around the 1:18 mark after the jump. Oh, and the lyrics, too. Credit to With Leather for finding this.

Obligatory Tim Tebow Article

The McNabb era is over. Kevin Kolb is now the guy. But what happens if Kolb blows? There has to be some youngster waiting in the wings, right?

When Kolb takes on the role as 'starter', he vacates the title of 'QB of the future'. And who will step in to that roll?

Well, Sports Illustrated’s rotund football writer, Peter King, has an idea.

Kevin Kolb is a Cowboys Fan

Or was a Cowboys fan.  Either way it's a true story.  Regardless of how difficult it is to consider that a Cowboys fan -- who at 25 years old most certainly cheered for Michael Irvin -- is now the franchise quarterback of my Philadelphia Eagles...I understand.  Dude can't help that he's from west Texas and was born into a Cowboys fan-mily (you see what I did there?). It still kinda stings, though.

Check out this clip...gets good around 4:10.

Kinda awkward with the whole overly denying his fanhood thing. At one point while explaining what he did when he got the news that he is the starter, he almost says that he did a little "hootin' and hollerin'," but stops and says "fist pumping" instead. He's trying too hard to fit in -- and even worse using Jersey Shore as a reference to east coast behavior. SMELLS LIKE GUILT.

Cowboys stars are like swastikas to me, Kevin!

Thanks Donovan

This post isn't about the trade. Ultimately, we can't evaluate that until we see what the Eagles do in the draft, how McNabb plays with the Redskins and whether or not Kevin Kolb is any good. Ideally, or perhaps selfishly, I hope all three go well with the Eagles being better than the Redskins of course.

But we'll get to that later. For now I think it's more important to honor the past 11 years and everything Donovan McNabb has brought us. Yes, there was some bad. He threw too many passes into the ground. He had trouble shining in big moments. He puked at the Super Bowl. He got hurt a lot. Sometimes he pissed us off beyond belief.

DONOVAN MCNABB TRADED

I Hate You, Eagles. Hate.

Ok, so maybe I don't hate the Eagles. I could never really hate the Eagles, I'm too diehard a fan to do that. But I do hate you Andy Reid. And you Howie Roseman. And you Joe Banner. And you Jeffery Lurie.

Trading Donovan McNabb to the Redskins...seriously? Are you fucking kidding me? You're going to trade a franchise quarterback to a team in your own division? For a second round pick?

FUCK YOU.