Dolla Dolla Bills Yall: Week 6 NFL Spread Picks

You guys remember this Universal Studios attraction? Pretty badass if I do say so myself.  Look at the face of Gilligan there -- that's quality acting friends.  I just wish that movie (and practically EVERY movie) didn't portray us Sharks as such dicks.  That's SPECIEST, humans!

So last week we went an incredibly average 7-7 bring our yearly total to 44-29-3.  While we warned you Week 5 was going to be a tough one, the Shark strives for excellence.  We'll keep things rolling for Week 6 and try to add a few more games to the win column.

To the shark tank!

Get On Your Feet For Simon Gagne

The Flyers may have fallen to the Tampa Bay Lightning last night, but early on there was one thing worth celebrating - longtime Flyer Simon Gagne was met with a well-deserved standing ovation from fans.  In a super classy move, the Flyers went the extra mile and put together the tribute video you see above.  The video ran early in the first period to roaring applause.  Gagne acknowledged the crowd with smiles and a wave.

If there's one thing Philadelphia proves over and over again, it's the city's never-ending admiration for their favorite players.  Like Donovan McNabb, Brian Dawkins, Pat Burrell, and Allen Iverson before him, Gagne got a taste of it firsthand.

NLCS Preview: Phillies vs. Giants

So here we are, about to watch the Phillies partake in their THIRD STRAIGHT NLCS. After 10,000 losses, Joe Carter, the 1964 collapse and Celine Dion (she has nothing to do with the Phillies, but she’s awful), who would have a thought our local baseball team would ever see this much success? The best record in baseball? Three aces? Puke monster? It’s still hard to believe this is all real. But guess what folks, it’s real. Very real. And the Phillies have a chance to do something over the next week no NL team has done since 1944, go to three straight World Series.

Standing in their way of history, yet again, is a team from California. This time around though, it’s not those Manny-led Dodgers, but the Pat the Bat-led San Francisco Giants. The Phillies are overwhelming favorites to be sure, but the Giants are a very good (although flawed) team and shouldn’t (and won’t) be taken lightly by our Fightins’.

Your NLCS Postcard

An absolutely perfect depiction of the Phillies starting pitching rotation from The Fightins (via The Daily News). With a Big 3 of Halladay, Hamels, and Oswalt, the Phils won't need to expect too much from sleepy Joe "I-don't-have-to-do-shit-anymore" Blanton.

Blanton better be careful, napping like that may cause some of the truffles stored in his cheeks to dislodge. H2O may or may not know CPR.

We Can Separate Sports from Reality, Thank You

We try to stay away from most things political here at TheWizWit.  We're here for your sports related entertainment and don't want to alienate any of our readers who may be gun-loving Tea Party racists or freedom-hating Socialist hippies.  You're not going to see us delve too much into that realm - unless an elected official makes an ass of himself by throwing like a 13 year old girl during the ceremonial first pitch of a baseball game.  Or we feel like criticizing something Ed Rendell says about the Eagles.  Both are entirely possible.

Where was I?  Oh yeah -- President Obama recently attended a rally at Philadelphia's Vernon Park.  During the rally, an unidentified man threw a book from the crowd.  The picture above is a screen grab of the moment where you can see the book in mid-air behind Obama's head.  There was no further altercation and the Secret Service determined the man meant no harm and released him after questioning. 

Our issue comes with the last paragraph of Brett Michael Dykes post on The Upshot, a Yahoo! News Blog:

"Many originally thought that the book-hurler was acting out of anger, much like the infamous Iraqi reporter who hurled a shoe at then-President George W. Bush. But high spirits often get out of hand in Philadelphia. This, after all, is a city whose residents are famous for booing Santa Claus. By those civic standards, a streaker and a text missile in the vicinity of the president's head make for a pretty serene day."

Are you kidding me?  Did you really go there with this?  Never mind the tired example of the Santa Claus incident or the fact that sports fans of any kind are completely unrelated to this book-throwing incident.  In a matter of a few sentences, Dykes implies Philadelphians treat entertainers the same way we treat the leader of the free world.  He might as well keep going with the sensationalism and end the article with a line reading, "Philadelphians are out of control psychopaths who cannot tell the difference between sports and the real world." 

A book getting tossed toward the President could happen ANYWHERE -- not just in Philly.  Unless the guy shouted the E-A-G-L-E-S chant then hit Obama in the head with The Eagles Encyclopedia, there's absolutely no reason to lower yourself to taking a shot at the local sports fan base.  Brett Michael, comparing Philadelphia sports fans to rogue Iraqi reporters just makes you look ill-informed and petty.

The Upshot is a blog, and as a part of Yahoo! News I suppose Dykes is still entitled to make assertions and form opinions like any other blogger.  It would just make more sense for him to think twice before stretching for a correlation that ends up coming off more asinine than funny.



[BGN FanShots]

Eagles 27, 49ers 24: I Want My ShadyBackShadyBackShadyBack

The Phillies beat the Eagles in the Local TV Ratings Bowl Sunday night, defeating the long-time champs 27.7 to 24.1.

There has been some chatter concerning the implications of these numbers, some now claiming that Philly has shifted from a football town to a baseball town. Not a bad argument -- the Phillies are the only Philadelphia professional sports team to win a championship in my whole mothercursing lifetime. Others will argue that more people turned into the Phillies/Reds NLDS game because it was a playoff game and it's only week 5 in the NFL. Also -- a decent argument.

I think we're both...at least right now. The city is in a transition period where its' favorite son has been overshadowed in recent years by his much more successful younger brother (or sister). This is the closest the two sports have been in popularity in some time and we should all just be thankful that neither of these teams have been managed by anyone who had anything to do with the Sixers. Forserious.

Oh yeah, and they both won. So what did we learn from the Birds win Sunday? Well Kevin Kolb Earns his Scrilla, Ribs Ain't No Thang, Bye Bye Bunkley, King Dunlap is the New Winston Justice, Kevin Kolb Trade Value Meter, We Built This City on Turn-o-vers, and Trevor Laws Wins the Game.

The Wrinkled, Leathery Reason Phillies Will Win World Series

You didn't think the Phillies were just going to get by on ridiculously nasty pitching and veteran hitting did you? Oh no kind sir, you are sadly mistaken. Those two luxuries are nothing when compared to the power of an old fashioned good luck charm.

Ed Barkowitz of the Daily News has an article on Philly.com regarding Ryan Madson's purchase of the Halloween mask you see in the pic above. And yes, that's him wearing it in the picture at a recent media session. Who needs rally monkeys or cowbells when you have a funny mask?

The article goes on to say the mask has become rather popular in the clubhouse and has become somewhat of a good luck charm. As Madson says, his favorite places to wear the mask are in the in the shower and in hot tub. Yep -- not making that up. My favorite line comes from Chad Durbin as he describes the mask: "It's Miguel Cairo." Oh Chad, you couldn't be any more spot on. LOOK AT THIS.

Anyway, our Phillies have advanced to a third straight NLCS and will have six days off before digging in against the Giants or Braves. To be honest, as a Philadelphia sports fan, it feels a little weird being a fan of the undisputed favorite. It's kind of a surreal feeling...and also one of the most awesome feelings a sports fan can have. Here's to 3 straight NL pennants.

FEAR THE MASK. GO PHILS.

[pic via Associated Press]