Thursday, March 3, 2011

This Is Why Cartoon Network Should Be Banned From Holding Sports Award Shows

There are so many things wrong with this. First the obvious - the Phillie Phanatic, one the most universally beloved mascots in all of sports history, lost in the “Most Awesome Mascot” category - to a deer named Bango. SHENANIGANS I TELL YOU!! What is going on in the world? The Milwaukee Bucks don't even have fans; how the hell did that thing win? My brain is cramping as I try to put rational sense behind it all.

What really chaps my ass is that Cartoon Network decided they're enough of an authority on sports to produce the Hall of Game Awards show in the first place. Nickelodeon already has that whole "children's award show" angle down. Just stick to re-runs Ed, Edd, and Eddy, Dragonball Z, and Adult Swim and everyone will be happy.

I know what you’re saying - "Come on man, stop hating on this kid's show. Nobody watched it anyway." And you know what italicized voice? You're right, it was for the kids. We can't help it if today’s children have the intelligence of a brick when it comes to something as simple as casting an online sports vote. I bet their fathers are same people who got Alonzo Mourning , Vince Carter, and Shaq voted into all those NBA All Star games ages after they were still worthy. FOR SHAME.


  1. In defense of the Bucks mascot, I saw a video of a crazy backflip off of a 20 foot ladder dunk that he did. I love the Phillie Phanatic, but his highlights involve molestation and gratuitous pelvic thrusting.

  2. The only reason the buck won was because he has that NBA commercial on ESPN....

  3. His name is BANGO. WHats not to get?