Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Where Does NFL Fine Money Go?

Where does the money the NFL makes from player fines go? It's a simple question for which you would assume you could get a simple answer. Not so.

For a league that's so concerned with their public image that it would hold an open competition to design the new poster condemning those terriblehorriblenogoodverybad concussions or without hesitation blanket the league in pink bullshit for a month, the National Football League is awfully quiet about some of their finances. Exactly how much money are they collecting from these fines a year? Where exactly is this money going? And, seriously, how much did they spend on pink hats, cleats, sweatbands, t-shirts, jackets, gloves, and hooker costumes cheerleader uniforms?

After some moderate searching, I found zero definitive answers. Most of what you'll get are tweens on Yahoo! Answers saying "It goes to charity." I found one good article, but the numbers are vague and it lacks specifics concerning the correlation between fine dollars and charity dollars. Having seen players-with-frozen-hands-laying-motionless-on-the-ground rise to an all-time high, and with so much cash getting taken out of players pockets, I think we all deserve to know what's happening to millions of dollars from this shifty-ass, Las Vegas-influenced billion dollar corporation.

So, until the NFL shows me where the money goes by say...I don't know...making a web page with a running counter of how much money was "donated" and giving certain winning fans the ability to pick the specific charity (EMAIL ME, NFL), I'm just going to assume that the money goes to Roger Goodell's elaborate penis surgeries.

Heard he had multiple procedures to that whole area. Hair dying, rings, racing stripes...the works. And trust me Rog', I'll make find pictures.


  1. Is that where my next project is headed, Goodell's goods?!

  2. Hahahaha I'm glad you took notice to this. I was too embarrassed to text you last night: "can you make a photoshop of Roger Goodell's dicknballs for me?"