Monday, November 8, 2010

Eagles 26, Colts 24: What the WHAT!?

The NFL is Rigged - The spread was +3 for the Colts. The Colts were down 9 points late in the fourth quarter. Something needed to change.

Fast forward to 4th and 18. Last chance for the defending AFC champs. Trent Cole bursts off the line, and although Peyton Manning does a solid job of keeping cool in a closing pocket, the self-proclaimed Quarterback Hunter gets to the 4-time MVP and takes him down. Sack. Game blouses.

Oh wait, no, it isn't. Why? BECAUSE THE NFL IS RIGGED.

I can deal with the call in the first half on the Austin Collie hit. I can deal with the terrible defensive interference on Dimitri Patterson. There was a blurry line for each of those and it can be understood why the refs would call them how they did. But the 4th and 18 call was all-too blatant. In that fraction of time when the yellow hankie went flying in Trent Cole's direction for ACCIDENTLY TOUCHING THE BACK OF PEYTON MANNING'S HELMET, the 4th wall for me was dropped and I saw the awful truth. The NFL is rigged folks. It just is.

Fuck it, we won. Unless you bet the Eagles...cause then you lost.

What else did we learn? Vince Vaughn Was There, Why Challenge?, Booing While Freeze-handed Motionless Guy is on Field Should Replace Snowball Santa, Oh No, Nate!, CBS: NFC = WCWMichael Vick's Arm is Stupid, Andy Reid was a Giant Child, and Countdown to Showdown.

Vince Vaughn Was There -

How bout that shit, eh? For some reason, I have this feeling that real-life Vince Vaughn is like Chappelle-show Wayne Brady. Something in his 4am cocaine rage eyes tell me so.

Why Challenge? - I'm really starting to believe that Andy Reid is a lot more emotional than we give him credit for. We generally don't consider Big Red an emotional guy, with all of his throat-clearing and baritone press conference nothingtalk. But think about when he's in pressure situations -- the dudes makes incredibly brash and emotional decisions. It's 3rd and 8 in the beginning of the second quarter and he wastes a timeout by challenging a play where Reggie Wayne clearly catches the ball. Why? Because of his emotional reaction to a close play and an outburst from the crowd. It's either that or because he's a moron. And Andy Reid isn't a moron..........right?

And why couldn't we challenge the Collie concussion/fumble? Because you wasted that timeout already, Fatty Mormon. Speaking of Austin Collie...

Booing While Freeze-handed Motionless Guy is on Field Should Replace Snowball Santa - WAY more cold-blooded. Asante Samuel freaking out, the entirety of the Eagles Defense and coaching staff yelling at the refs while the crowd erupts in a booing frenzy...that shit was timeless. Snowball Santa is for vajayjay's!

Oh No, Nate! - According to Twitter (which has never lied to me), Rookie Safety Nate Allen is probably out of Monday's game against Benchtime McBurgundy and the Washington Racistnames with a neck sprain. While Kurt Coleman should do okay in his place, this team is certainly worse without the quietly prolific Allen playing the outfield.

CBS: NFC = WCW - I love the split between CBS and FOX. Because CBS is the AFC station and FOX is the NFC station, the slant/spin each network spews fourth concerning their respective conferences is laughable. It's kinda like listening to a WWF commentator making comments about "the other guys" (WCW) in the 1990's. Jim Nantz and Phil Simms spent at least two hours of yesterday's game verbally fellating the Colts. Oh, Shady McCoy breaks a big run up the gut? It's probably because of injuries to the Colts defense. What's this? Vick throws an errant pass incomplete to DeSean Jackson? It's probably due to that vaunted Colts defense. CBS needs to get more fair and balanced in their NFC coverage. Fair and balanced like, you know, Fox.

Michael Vick's Arm is Stupid - It's like a goddamn retard. Sixty yards in the air hitting DESEAN JACKSON in stride. Although it feels good to many to hate him for his past, we should all be appreciating Mike Vick in his prime. He's got the arm, learned how to play sound and throw accurately learning under Reid and Mornigwheg, and at 30 he's still got the jets. Really, just look at his body of work this season and ask yourself if he's not the prototype of the perfect quarterback. This was the guy Atlanta thought they'd have with him at 30, they just didn't expect him to go to jail for two years and come out doing it for the Eagles.

Andy Reid was a Giant Child -

Hahahahahahahaha, full video here. At least nobody can say he didn't throw that shit far. I'm impressed even for a Greg Oden-like monster child such as Andy.  Please please pleeeease make giant baby Andy Reid the new internet meme.  Him and all-white Kobe can sit on a bench with sad Keanu or something.  I'm looking at you, WithLeather.

Countdown to Showdown - Forget the Redskins...we got that game (JINX!). The real test is in two weeks against Manning Lite and the New York Giants. Believe it or not, the Giants are looking like the best team in the league right now, having racked up 5 straight victories in impressive fashion. The Eagles are now at relative full strength, and have the weapons to be a dominant force in this league. One of these two teams will win the division and have a great shot at NFC supremacy. Should be a good one. I have a feeling there may be another Desktop Wallpaper Bowl happening soon....

Go Birds.


  1. I am totally with you on the NFL being rigged. I called it while watching the early game with the Lions/Jets and when I saw Peyton get that gift call AND heard Simms agree with it....I knew something was up. I thought the league wanted the Colts to win but then I noticed the score being less than 3 and put it all together.

    THe NFL is rigged and ruled by Vegas.

  2. two words: Ron Shaw

  3. Austin Collie with negative points almost cost me my motherfucking fantasy football matchup.