Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Shall We Continue?



The infamous BlueStarShockTrooper went and responded to our little blog post! How bout that - who would've guessed this Husky McTittyballs would've had the time in between Hot Pockets and Cool Ranch Doritos to fire off another video?

Typically, I'm not one for back and forth banter, but since we're gentlemen, I suppose we do owe him the courtesy of a response. So Mr. ShockTrooper - switch to your favorite pair of stunner knockoff Oakley's, release the fistful of Chunky wrappers from the grasp of your sausage link fingers, and let’s get this over with.

When we last left this zilch, he was wandering aimlessly through the streets of his neighborhood yelling into a Handicam about how bad the Philadelphia Eagles will be. Lo, he was not hit by traffic. However, the good news is that he seems to have gotten larger since the last time we saw him (is there a baby BlueStarShockTrooper on the way??).

While he appears to be of an indeterminate age, I'm going to go out on a limb and say he grew up in the 90's. I've come to learn that Cowboys fans of that generation harp on decades of "storied history" or immediately blurt, "how many Super Bowls have you guys won?" as their go-to basis of an argument. I'm going to take a wild guess that some of his other favorites include the Bulls, Yankees, Red Wings, Miami Hurricanes, 90's Tiger Woods, Pete Sampras, and The Harlem Globetrotters. I know it may be hard to accept change for someone whose computer looks like something Doogie Howser typed his diary into (see: background of video), but the front-running thing is tired and old. You really could do much better by trying to justify the team that's actually playing on the field in present day. Keep the Delorean in the garage, Chins.

At least in this video he took the time to learn that the ‘l’ in Kolb is silent. So I give him his due props there. But I have to stop him when he claims that his points are backed up ‘facts’. Jon Kitna is better than Kolb because he’s older and can function under pressure? Are ya sure about that? You do know that Jon Kitna threw 42 interceptions in his last 2 full seasons as a starter in the NFL, right?

And let’s dispel the whole “Kitna has a higher QB rating than Kolb” thing. Let’s put aside the fact that you even bringing this up is retarded since there’s such a small sample size to work with. Kevin Kolb has only started two games in his career. His ratings in those games were 73.2 and 120.6 respectively. Kitna’s ratings after his first two career starts were 72.2 and 91.6. So by your logic, Kolb will actually be superior.

In summation, Emmitt Smith cannot read beyond a 3rd grade level, Michael Irvin stabs people in the neck with scissors, and it took the Cowboys over a decade to get a playoff win.  But hey, at least your breasts look nice and busty in that  jersey!

Like all Cowboys fans, I’m sure you want the last word as much as you want the last french fry. You’ll probably fire up the old webcam and bash Philly some more, and have at it. Everybody needs a hobby.

Oh, and don’t forget - your coach is still Wade Phillips. So you’re fucked.

ALSO, this whole ordeal has opened us up to the phenomenon of Trash Talk Circle(s), which apparently are (popular?) communities of people on various sports sites and YouTube who just yell at one another about the greatness of their favorite team while disparaging everyone else.  One user, RipperEagle96, sent us a an example video (which we will not post but I'm sure you can easily find) a couple of days back.  This whole Trash Talk Circle thing is scary, sad, and new to me, and thus will require more research and hatorade on the part of TheWizWit.  We'll let you know what we find. Stay tuned.

23 comments:

  1. Did this fairy ask to "cam up" with you?

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  2. Everything he talks about is an homage to food....coincidence?

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  3. maybe he should take the time & fix his mirror webcam image so he doesn't look like an overweight preteen girl taking her myspace picture in the bathroom

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  4. I know what Im going to be for Halloween. That shit is scary!

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  5. The woman in this video is so angry.... what's for dinner hun?

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  6. this pussy sounds like rosco p. coltrane from dukes of hazzard. hey cletus, boss hogg just called. he said until you catch them duke boys, get your lips off my dick.

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  7. as a true cowboy fan id like to opologize for thiis so called fan as well as the one who wrote below his video,,,, most people hate on those at the top also those at the top like wise hates back when proddded,,, to the both of you..grow up!

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  8. I love the fact that this fat kid knows sports i guess being picked last and spending time with lunch lady made him do some research. O and i personally guarantee that Riley Cooper will more receptions, yards, and touchdowns then that flash in a pan miles austin

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  9. this guys is Ignatius J. Reilly, from "A Confederacy of Dunces"

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  10. ill take that bet..anon....but thanks for your personal vote on miles being compared to ...who again......loil

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  11. Phil...you just blew my mind. YES. YES HE IS.

    You think BlueStarShockTrooper likes hot dogs?

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  12. Ugh...that was incredibly hard to get through. This guy doesn't even deserve the attention were giving him. I'll "cam-up" (whatever the fuck that is) anytime pal. I'll have you crying "he's my quarterback" in no time.

    Also, a tip: switch to lean pockets, frozen yogurt, wheat bread and water. How the hell are we supposed to "cam-up" if you don't live past Thursday?

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  13. The kid in the video is such a strapper and I am willing to bet that 1. he lives in his parents basement and 2. he owns a storm trooper costume. Support your own team don't bash others!!!!!

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  14. So, what part of the Dallas Cowboy "legacy" has this virgin doucher contributed to? And when is the last time the Cowboys won a Super Bowl? When this slob was 9 or 10 years old? I'm pretty sure you can't claim "your" team is better than someone else's when neither have won since the 90's. This guy isn't a real Cowboys fan. Jon Kitna's career stats vs Kevin Kolb's TWO career starts? Really, those are your "facts?" Wow. Also way to relish in 3 games in 2009. Where's his video from the year prior, week 17, Philadelphia 44, Dallas 6? Way to pick and choose your battles CockTrooper.

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  15. I don't know what this guy is talking about, because the Cowboys have no shot at all this year...I mean none at all. I mean, not with me at Quarterback. I am a homosexual after all.

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  16. I completey agree with Romo. Cowboys will have no chance this year. He'll be watching me and my boys in the playoffs, and we will have our mascot kick the field goals so we could win this year.

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  17. You know the Cowboys are desperate when they drafted me!

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  18. Stew Brad really hurt me, I think I might need da ambalamps!

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  19. Hey, it's the future GOAT here. That's greatest of all-time for you retards out there. Just dropping by to let you know that I would draft me first in all-fantasy leagues considering I'm going to go 60 TD passes and 0 Int, 2,000 rushing yards with 44 TDs. Call it. GOAT.

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  20. Wow, I wish I was as good as Rivers or Bradford.

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  21. So when are we going to Cam-up and jerk off together? I'm so horny for some hot dicken, but Tony Romo won't return my calls ^^.

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