Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Cole Hamels Is Our Fourth Starter


Welcome home, Clifton. Multiple reports have confirmed, Cliff Lee has agreed to a deal with the Phillies. Ruben, I take it all back. We all take it all back. We love you, so very, very much.

This is all so new, so fresh, it's hard to really believe it. However, barring some ridiculous turn of events, the Phillies now boast a rotation of Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, Roy Oswalt and Cole Hamels. That doesn't even make sense.

Think about it this way: Roy Halladay, per Fangraphs.com WAR statistic, was the second most valuable pitcher in baseball last year. Number one? That would be Cliff Lee. Almost every team in baseball would kill to have Cole Hamels and Roy Oswalt as their top two starters. We have them. And we have Cliff Lee and Roy Halladay too.

I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep with happiness. Cliff, glad to have you back.

Oh, and fuck the Yankees.

11 comments:

  1. If the Phillies were a poker hand they would be 4 aces.

    I'm hilarious

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  2. Not to be a Negative Nancy, but the last time we were this happy about a baseball rotation, Rube traded Lee away.

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  3. Anyone happier than Chooch right now? His job just got way easier behind the plate.

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  4. *cue the welcome back kotter theme.

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  5. stolen from the Deadspin comments section, the official name for this rotation is...FOUR LOKO.

    All other names will be ignored.

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  6. Nick, Chooch is gonna have an endless supply of ice cream behind the plate from now on.

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  7. four loko sucks, maurice, it got cancelled- get over it, go out with somebody else. The new name is The Phour Reallies.

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  8. phour reallies...no. but youre right that we shouldnt settle on four (phour) loko. weve got plenty of time; theres no need to rush the name.

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  9. ur not picturing the t-shirt, it's like: 4 Real?! and then action shots. Money + Cake

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