Cole Hamels Is Our Fourth Starter

Welcome home, Clifton. Multiple reports have confirmed, Cliff Lee has agreed to a deal with the Phillies. Ruben, I take it all back. We all take it all back. We love you, so very, very much.

This is all so new, so fresh, it's hard to really believe it. However, barring some ridiculous turn of events, the Phillies now boast a rotation of Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, Roy Oswalt and Cole Hamels. That doesn't even make sense.

Think about it this way: Roy Halladay, per Fangraphs.com WAR statistic, was the second most valuable pitcher in baseball last year. Number one? That would be Cliff Lee. Almost every team in baseball would kill to have Cole Hamels and Roy Oswalt as their top two starters. We have them. And we have Cliff Lee and Roy Halladay too.

I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep with happiness. Cliff, glad to have you back.

Oh, and fuck the Yankees.

Weaver Wins One For The Fullbacks

The Eagles and super-amazing fullback Leonard Weaver reached an agreement on a 3 year deal worth $11 million with $6.5 million guaranteed.  That effectively makes Weaver the highest paid player at his position.  And he should be.  No fullback meant more to their team that Weaver did last year.

This was an obvious move for the Birds as the signing was never a matter of 'if' but 'when'.  Fullbacks are a lost position in today's NFL and has always been the least glamorized "skill" position.  It's nice to see Weaver getting his.

It's even nicer not having to worry about some terrible, out of positon player being forced into the fullback role.  And the flame tattoos.  Can't forget about those.

Flyin' Hawaiian Agrees to Deal

Late breaking news on this Thursday night, Shane Victorino has agreed to a three-year, $22 million contract. While my hatred for Victorino has been well documented, this is a great signing for the Phillies. That means the entire core of the team, outside of Jayson Werth, is now signed through at least 2011.

While he takes too many gambles in the field and he pops up wayyyyyy too much, he is a valuable part of this team. Charlie Manuel (who lost a shitload of weight this offseason) has said Polanco will bat second, likely moving Victorino down the seven spot. I like that for Victorino and he should still score his 90+ runs and have his 25+ stolen bases.

Good job Ruben.

Ok, back to Jersey Shore.

Heavy B Is Here To Stay

The Phillies and GM Ruben Amaro Jr. continued their busy offseason today when they annouced pitcher Joe Blanton had agreed to a shiny new three-year $24-million contract. With this signing the Phillies now have their top four pitchers signed through at least 2010 (Halladay, Hamels, Blanton and Happ). That's pretty good.

Some will say the Phillies didn't need to do this right now and could have got a better deal in the offseason. That may be true, but I have no problem paying $8 million to a 29-year old who throws 190+ innings of 4.00-ish ERA ball. Remember, the Mets are paying Oliver Perez $12 million a year to walk every batter he faces and the Cubs are paying Carlos Silva the same (how bad a dude does Milton Bradley have to be for the Cubs to trade him for Silva? ) to suck balls. So, you can do much, much worse that Joe Blanton.

Plus, any dude that leaves a game wearing an electrical socket costume is awesome. That and any pitcher that does this.

And for those who have never seen her, here is his wife.

He's Baaaaaaaaaack!

Allen Iverson is back. AI informed the Sixers this morning that he will be returning to the Sixers after a two and a half year absence. He will make his return on Monday against the Nuggets.

Sixers to Iverson: Ball's In Your Court

Allen Iverson can be a Sixer again if he wants, he just has to sign. According to CSNPhilly.com the Sixers have offered Iverson a non-guaranteed contract, something that may be a deal breaker for the All Star guard.