The Phillies have signed muh-fuggin' Cliff Lee. I think we're all still in shock. As the story broke and we awaited news that it was indeed true, Philadelphia's collective excitement went from dry-lazy-handjob-from-your-wife to drunken-passionate-unprotected-bathroom-sex. Considering just days ago signing Lee was an improbable pipe dream, last night will go down as one of the best moments of offseason baseball ever.
You have to give GM Ruben Amaro Jr. some serious props for getting this done. While he may be a smug dickface during interviews, the man has a carefully laid out plan and knows what he's doing. He straight up ganked Lee from the Yankees and Rangers -- for less money!
Our loyal reader and All-Star commenter 'Eric' spent some time on Wikipedia last night and sent us this screengrab of Ruben's page before the Wiki Police changed it back. Brilliant.
You may now continue to talk shit and rub this in the face of every Yanks and Mets fans you encounter today.
Go Phils!
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