Wednesday, August 4, 2010

2010 Eagles Flight Night: Injury Odds!

Eagles "Flight Night" is tomorrow and to commemorate the second year of this profit-generating glorified practice, we're placing odds on injuries to your favorite players!

As you may recall, the birds lost their starting MLB at last years event to an ACL injury. Maybe it was the curse of Jim Johnson. Maybe it was karma's revenge on an organization that tries to squeeze every last dime from a championship-starved fanbase. Whatever the reason, StewBrad went down and with him so did the Eagles' defensive ferociousness.

So how bout Flight Night 2010? Lets go to the odds-makers!

Cornelius Ingram
Knee injury - 1:1
Ankle injury - 2:1
Injured pride from losing job to dude named Clay - 3:2


Max-Jean Gilles
Exploding lap-band gross eew - 10:1
Breast cancer - 50:1

Victor Abiamiri
Getting re-reinjured while standing on sidelines - 4:1

Andy Reid
Oxycontin overdose - 200:1

DeSean Jackson
Back injury - 15:1
Twisted ankle from 'Jerkin' - 25:1
Crashing Porsche into facility - 55:1

Trent Cole
"High" motor reset to "Average" motor - 60:1

Brent Celek
Over abundance of Captain in him - 40:1

Stewart Bradley
Re-injured Knee - 15:1
Insufficient Swagger - 5:1

Mike Vick
Herpes flare-up - 10:1

Kevin Kolb
Rotator cuff injury from throwing too many perfect and awesome slants - 30:1

Riley Cooper
Raw buttock from everyone kissing his ass - 2:1

Todd Herremans
Raped in his own shady-ass van - 75:1

Place ya bets!


  1. hahahaahahahahahahaha!!!! best post ever!!! You made breast cancer and rape funny. You might be the first person in history to do this successfully...
    BravoTangoWhiskey, Is there some sort of fecta, like a Trifecta or Superfecta I can bet on, where, Jackson crashes his porsche into the facility, survives with no injuries, and then tears his achilles in a "not hurt" celebratory jerkin session - then- Andy Reid, in a state of total-fat-fury suffers an Epic H-attack and falls on Jackson, thus paralyzing them both for life?

  2. Two things: first, this is the perfect blend of offensive and hilarious and for that I salute you. Second, you know damn right desean is celebrating with the dougie this year. The jerk is old news, his swag is on that new shit.

  3. awsome!! classic!!!!