Winning On A Friday

Who's winning this Friday? Manhattan Mini Storage, that's who. Absolutely brilliant.

Enjoy your weekend folks...and fuck the Mets.

[A big ole' hat tip to Ryan]

Jose Reyes is a Snitch

[NYP] If their parents can't get truants to go to class, maybe Magic Johnson can. Or R&B superstar Trey Songz. Or the Mets' Jose Reyes. Even Mayor Bloomberg is going to give it a shot. The city yesterday launched a program called WakeUp NYC that enlists celebrities to place automated phone calls to chronically absent students at 25 schools.

Ah yes, that's the ticket. Have athletes and performers send  a bunch of impersonal pre-recorded phone calls out. That'll surely make kids care about going to school. I mean, who does Jose Reyes think he is anyway? Tattling on a bunch of kids for skipping school...he's only bothered showing up for 169 of the Mets last 324 games and nobody's blowin' up his spot.

Yeah I went there. Suck on that Mets fans.

Come For The Hookers, Leave With The Mets

Fred and Jeff Wilpon announced they are seeking to sell up to 25% of the New York Mets to gain some financial flexibility.  That'll happen when you're tangled in a lawsuit resulting from the Bernie Madoff investment scam.  Giving Oliver Perez a $36 million dollar contract a couple years ago doesn't hurt either.

Click pic to enlarge, click here for the full Craigslist ad.

[Credit goes to the fine folks at TedWilliamsHead.com]

Johan Like-a The Sexy Time

So apparently Johan Santana was accused of rape last year. On a golf course. TMZ has the story, but it's only fair to note he has never been formally charged with any wrong-doing.

However - in light of this news, I'm starting to seriously think his other thumb IS up that girl's cornhole.

Goodbye To You

Greg Dobbs is no longer a Phillie.

I understand this is a sad day for all, especially since Dobbs was so goddamn terrible. I mean, the dude was batting .152 this year. He was absolutely useless considering he couldn't play the field (he was otherworldly bad at third) AND since he never got regular playing time he was struggling as a pinch hitter. Honestly, this might be addition by subtraction. (Granted, there is a chance he makes it through waivers and is optioned to Triple-A. However, he can simply refuse that assignment and go off on his merry way. I'm assuming a guy like him, who probably thinks he can contribute with regular playing time, will end up leaving and latching on somewhere. But who cares really?)

Ultimately though, we will remember Dobbs for his awesome 2008 season where he was the best pinch hitter in the history of time. He was a contributer on the World F-in' Champions, so for that we'll be forever grateful. And, of course, we'll always remember his grand salami against the Mets in '07. That hit helped the Phils sweep the Mets and moved them only 3.5 games back in early September. We all know what happened next.

Fuck the Mets. Love you forever, Lou Dobbs.

Will We Ever Score Again???

Slumps happen all the time. It's a part of baseball, any self-respecting player, manager, reporter or fan will tell you that. But this is just ridiculous. The Phillies haven't scored in 27 straight innings, three full friggin' games, AND were swept by the absolutely hated Mets. No matter how you look at it, this team isn't very good right now.

Obviously it isn't time to hit full panic mode yet. Remember, this team was 39-37 last year in late June before they finally turned it on and ran away with the division. The same could happen this year, especially when you consider we now have Roy Halladay, a better Cole Hamels and J.A. Happ set to return in a few weeks. But the fact remains this team has been shutout in four of the their last five, all against non-ace type pitchers (although, admittingly, Pelfrey is pitching that way this year). If it wasn't for a three run ninth inning on Sunday, we'd be staring at five consecutive shutouts. Yuck.

The Mets Prove They're Still The Mets

The Phils are back in first place in the NL East, the Mets suck, and Johan Santana had the worst outing of his career. Next up is a possible NLCS preview as the Phillies take on the Cardinals.

All is well in Philadelphia.

Should I Laugh? No?...Yes? I Think...Yes!

This offseason I've had to listen to so many damn Mets fans go "man, once we get healthy, we'll be right there bro. You better watch out, the Amazin's are going come back strong this year! Jose Reyes baby! I'm a fucking guido!" it isn't funny. Mets fans suck and they honestly are the worst people on earth. So, after reading this news today, I just have to laugh.

Now, I would never wish injury or sickness upon anyone (except Rosie O' Donnell) but Mets fans make it so hard not to root for their team to fall apart. Plus, Jose Reyes is a total douchebag. So, without further ado:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAFUCKYOUMETSFANSHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAASSHOLESHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHISLEPTWITHYOURMOM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAYOURDADISGAYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ok, now I feel better. Fuck the Mets.

Go Phils.