Would You Sleep With Doctor Kong?

Looking to get laid AND a he's doctor? Well ladies, you better get in line next to all the douchebags asking for worthless autographs! This one is FAB-U-LOUSSS! Clearly I'm joking - NO ONE is sleeping with him. I just want to rip my ears off and shove them down his throat to end that God forsaken laugh once and for all. It sounds like the cackling of a hyena. Assuming that hyena was gay. If he somehow was lucky enough to meet a deaf girl, he'd still be shot down due to the fact he's awkward as fuck. I see he's going with the arms-shakily-crossed coolness vibe at the bar. Hope that works out for you buddy. I don't care how many barrels he's made his pixilated Italian friend skip over. This guy stinks.

h/t Kotaku

A Thousand Volts of Brotherly Love

Looking for some shizz to get you through the life-draining work day?  Well the folks over at Tauntr.com have created this entertaining little game for us Philly fans.  Or really anyone that has 20 minutes to kill and enjoys electrocuting humans. 

Go check out the game HERE.  It's raining and it's only Tuesday - I suggest you get some type of enjoyment out of this day.

Madden 11 Team Ratings, McNabb's Worth Revealed

The team ratings for Madden 11 were released this weekend and the Eagles were one of the biggest losers. The Birds dropped from an overall 86 down to an 80.

An 80 overall? That's so... Denver Broncosian.

Sitting Around In Underwear, Playing Video Games Can Now Make You Rich

One of my goals in life is to become rich off the lottery. I try like any other sucker, but always come up just 4 or 5 #'s short in the Mega Millions. Anyway, here's another way to get rich quick.

2K Sports is offering a chance to win $1 Million dollars for pitching a perfect game in MLB 2k10. The stipulations are simple: You have to be the first person to do it. Contest only runs from March 2nd -May 2nd. You have to do it against the AI. And you have to record the whole thing on video and mail it to 2k Sports for analyzation.

The last part is kind a pain in the ass considering you'd have to roll tape until you finally accomplish the feat, but it's for a million bucks, so quit complaining.

It's actually a great marketing ploy to get people to purchase the game at launch. They've probably written code in the game to make the perfect game impossible to do. But that might not stop me from attempting it at least a couple times before I get frustrated and give up.

I have to give my big lotto dreams a chance. Got a lot eggs in that basket.

REEEEMIIIIX: NBA JAM Coming To A Wii Near You

How many times have you been playing ball, someone makes a few shots in a row, and another guy chimes in with "He's on Fire!"? This, of course, gives the shooter full reign to chuck up the next few shots with no conscience, no fear of his teammates calling him a ball hog. He's not allowed to object -- it's called a heat check. And it's man code.

Well the game that made this possible will be engulfing more basketballs in flames on the Wii. And this time the developer will be premier sports video game maker EA Sports, not Akklaim and their basketball-spinning Iguana.

Video Games + Alcohol / Crab Fries = New Sports Bar Near You

Ever want to watch sports, drink beer, play video games, and get waited on all at the same time?

Well, yesterday marked the official grand opening of Play2 – ‘The World’s First Interactive Sports Bar’ – and this place has our attention.

Will Witherspoon's Madden Ratings

So who did we just trade for? Peep Will Witherspoon's complete Madden 10 ratings after the jump.

You know you wanna see...