Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Two Days Late Kris Versteeg Article

Written by TWW friend "Anonymous"

So, we went out and got Kris Versteeg, and that's pretty cool. He could be like a replacement Gagne in the playoffs. He was a Chicago Shmohawk last year, but that's okay, I always kinda liked the guy, but don't get it twisted, I will always hate his face, and I will always resent him for what he did to me last year... it was inappropriate, and I did NOT give consent.

Not for nothin', It's kinda hard to be mad this year. The Guys are 38-14-5, that's the second best record in Hockey. Our only real competition in the East is Boston and Tampa. Pittsburgh is just some team now, with Malkin out for the year and Crosby's fate being compared to that of our very own concussion magnet, Eric Lindros. Check the eerie comparisons with these guys. We all remember how great Lindros was, until Scott Stevens put that permanent gay twinkle in his eyes.

Basically, we're winning The Cup this year. There's only two things I can think of that I would want fixed on the squad. 1.) Just let Zherdev spin around the ice and toe-drag as much as he wants. You let Giroux do it last year. He just wants to score goals girls love. 2.) Nodl, who is the Hockey equivalent of a stem-cell, needs to decide what kind of player he wants to be. He's a classic jack of all trades, master of none. Get him off the first line, and don't make Richards play with him anymore... just stop it. Other than that, we're in good shape for a deep run this year. Like a SCUBA Marathon.


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