Friday, November 26, 2010

SAVINGS ALERT: Buy One, Get 50% off All Dignity!

Holy shitballs. These are horrifying. I can't fathom any situation where has sold a single pair of these monstrosities. You just know they have a whole warehouse full of classic, uncomfortable, stonewash straight-legged denim just waiting to have the Eagles logo emblazoned across the ass cheeks.

Ladies, if you’re considering buying these for your man, you might as well save yourself $74.99 and just give the lucky fella a swift punch to the dick. That pain will at least be temporary. These jeans will haunt him forever in the form of humiliating jokes from his buddies.

BONUS doesn't stop there.  There's a way that you too can walk all over the Cowboys this year!

Have an annoying and illogical Dallas Cowboy fan in your life? Search for their Christmas gift no longer! After losing to the Saints on Thanksgiving, the Cowboys are officially guaranteed of a non-winning season. They're at the cellar of the NFC East and have rolled over and been trampled by nearly 75% of their competition this year. is also selling team "rugs" as part of their Black Friday holiday sale. Now, let's not kid ourselves folks – I know a doormat when I see one. It only becomes confirmed when you stamp the Cowboys logo on it and proceed to use it for wiping dog doo doo off your sneakers. Could there be a more appropriate gift??

In all seriousness: This thing comes with a price tag of $79.99. Regardless of the team you choose or whether you’re using it as a legit area rug or gag gift - who in the hell is spending that kind of scratch on a rug doormat? There has to be something in life you actually need that you could spend that money on. Or how about charity? No? NFL doormat? Okay then.

1 comment:

  1. those would make the best cut-off jean shorts ever.