The Onion wins. The worlds foremost authority in fake news has an article about Michael Vick's attempt to inspire teammates with a horrifically disturbing dogfighting story. It's hilarious to the point where all other Mike Vick jokes are now banished to the land of wind and ghosts.
The article goes into some gory details about his crimes, and while I certainly still support Vick (he's done his time yada yada), I still feel a bit strange when I hear the specifics.
I think there are a number of people in America with an almost unhealthy fascination with dogs (kissing your dog, buying them clothes, wearing sweatshirts with their picture on them, marrying them, photoshopping them to look like people, etc) and feel strongly that if Vick was fighting squirrels instead of dogs, his story would go from grotesque to hilarious.
Anyway, the author of this article has the tone of someone who is definitely not a fan of #7 (aka Superman aka Mikey Three-Yards) -- but I've always believed that regardless of whether or not I agree with you, if you're funny I'll respect you.
Check out the article here.
"Before we went out on the field, [Vick] told us how the dogs went at each other's throats one last time, and when Zebro broke free, his snout and face were completely covered in blood," McCoy explained. "That's when—and I'll never forget this for the rest of my life—Mike looked at us, smiled, and said, 'But it wasn't Zebro's blood. It was Maniac's. Now let's go out there and have some fun!'"
"Jesus Christ," McCoy added.
Hahaha.
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