Monday, January 3, 2011

Marty Mornhinweg Definitely Probably Going to Coach Browns

With Eric Mangini officially out as Browns head coach, there are several reports that the Eagles Offensive Coordinator/Assistant Head Coach/Slashie award-winner may be a top replacement candidate. That's if Jon Gruden doesn't want the job (he doesn't) and if former Eagles GM and current Browns GM Tom Heckert wants him (he does). It's a match made in shitty franchise heaven!


Mike Holmgren: Marty, I'm really happy that you are here and I want to thank you for all of your hard work in the off-season. It wasn't easy prying Kevin Kolb away from the Eagles for only 3 first-rounders. Plus I know things got a little crazy after the whole Sheldon Brown suicide attempt fiasco. Great leaders are tested in tough times, Marty. A fabulous example you're setting for these young men.

Marty Mornhinweg: Thanks, Mike.

MH: But I have to question some of your tactics during this weeks game. I know it's only week 1, but what was up with those 3 consecutive Peyton Hillis wildcat plays?

MM: Those -7 yards are worth keeping the defense on its toes, Mike.

MH: ...Right. And that Chris Gocong bubble screen?

MM: Kolb and Chris have great chemistry. Wanna get the ball in the hands of our playmakers.

MH: ...Right. I just hope Tom and I didn't Make a mistake bringing you here to be a Head Coach. You're a great football mind but I don't want you to get in over your head like things did when you in Detroit--

MM: Nonono, I've got everything under control. And don't worry about that whole LeBron James jersey giveaway disaster -- I'm sure a lot of those kids will see again. I've got a great feeling things will pick up after I make this deal with Marcus Vick's agent...

MH: You're fired.


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