Haha! Suck it, Saudis!

Yeaaaa I guess all that oil money still can't buy your kids Little League wins! Jersey showin' the Middle East how to smack some Ding Dong Kabooms!

In other news, Little League Baseball is for 13 year-olds and pedophiles. TheWizWit OUT.

TheWizWit Wallpaper Wednesday!

As our friends over at The700Level have pointed out, voting for the 2010 MLB All-Star team is now underway and our boy Carlos "Chooch" Ruiz needs to be in there like swimwear. Why? Well, because he's playing stupid, dumb, retarded, mentally-challenged, down-syndrome, slobbering-on-himself baseball right now.

All the big-name Phils will most likely make their way onto the NL All-Star roster either as a starter or bench player, so Charlie Manuel will basically be coaching the Phillies against the AL All-Stars. However, because Chooch's name isn't as famous as your Halladay's, Howard's, or Utley's...he is a likely All-Star snub. For a guy leading the Phillies (and much of the NL) in most statistical categories, this makes my mindgrapes supersad.

You want stats?

Overall in the NL, Carlos Ruiz leads all Catchers in AVG with .354 and is 3rd overall in the NL. Closest to him is Chicago's Geovany Soto, who is batting a solid .325. In OBP Ruiz shows a whopping .481 and leads the entire NL (although Soto again is closest with .476). In SLG Ruiz takes a small dip behind Soto with .488 compared to .525...but seriously, who cares about the Cubs? Ruiz also has 21 BB, which is tied for 9th in the NL (Pujols). He’s hitting .368 with runners on, currently showing a 1.000 Fielding Percentage, and has 178 Putouts in 2010 already. Sure, Chooch only has a couple ding-dong kaboom's so far this season, but after taking into account every other offensive and defensive stat, there is no reason why this man should not be an All-Star.

With all that said, I (with great pride) present...Chooch: So Hot Right Now!

An Analysis of Mr. Ding-Dong Kaboom

*For your pleasure courtesy of The Onion.

For the record, the phrase 'ding-dong kaboom' IS cool in my book.

Friday is here; enjoy your weekend. The Phillies have a weekend series with the Braves, while the Flyers will win tonight just to prolong the inevitable.

This turned out to be a slow sports week. Our lack of new posts had nothing to do with laziness. Nope. Not one bit.

We'll do better next week. (Probably).