Monday, December 7, 2009

Eagles 34, Falcons 7: something something Vick something something slaughter...blowout...racially-divided Atlanta fanbase...Eagles win!

We also learned that Leonard Weaver needs the rock, the Eagles are still stinky in the redzone, there's a Reggie Brown conspiracy, Falcon's coach Mike Smith is terrible, Sheldon Brown wants his paper, and Donovan McNabb is fake as shit.

Leonard Weaver needs the rock - Everyone's favorite "under-the-radar" off-season signing is playing a huge role in Andy and Marty's pass-happy offense.  With 5 carries for 37 yards (7.4 avg) and 2 catches for 64 yards and a touchdown, LW is certainly earning his $1.7 million this year.  Weaver is the perfect "big back" for this system: he's strong, can pass block, has great hands, and hits the hole quickly (pause).  Shady McCoy was struggling a bit yesterday, and Weaver stepped right in to pick up the slack.  We've found our Brandon Jacobs. Westbrook, who?

Eagles are still stinky in the redzone - Four trips to the redzone in the first half: one touchdown.  This team cannot compete with the Saints' and the Vikings' of the league until they find some solution to the redzone / short yardage problem.  Oh wait...what's that?  We have Michael Vick on our team?? When the hell did this happen!?  How come nobody told me!? Why don't we use him, then!?!  I bet he'd be great at this sorta thing...

There's a Reggie Brown conspiracy - Popular Philadelphian thought involves the idea that Reggie Brown sucks. Now, it's not my job as a lowly sports blogger to confirm or deny these allegations -- but I do believe that there is more to the story than meets the eye.  For as much as he "sucks", Reggie has been resigned/restructured by the Eagles twice and has survived on a team that now features an overflow of talent at WR.  Sure, DeSean Jackson is the unquestioned #1, but in August this team was looking at a roster with names like Jeremy Maclin, Kevin Curtis, Hank Baskett, Jason Avant, and Brandon Gibson.  Everyone thought Reggie would be the odd man out.  What's happened?  The dude is still getting checks and has only been out there enough to get 5 catches on the season.  Why?

Because there's a conspiracy to hold Reggie Brown back.  The guy is better than advertised.  Sure, he had that one bad drop to begin yesterday's game, but he also made a nice move and caught an underthrown, deep Mike Vick pass in traffic later on in the game.  He's got the skills to play -- maybe even start -- wideout for many of the teams in the league.  There must be some reason he's been frozen out of our offense.  Andy won't trade him because he knows he won't get value.  And don't say that his contract is too big to trade -- he only makes $1 million this year.  I bet there's something going on between Reggie and some of the more important figures on this team -- McNabb, Andy, Marty, Swoop, etc.  I'm guessing its someBODY instead of someTHING that's keeping Reggie Brown out of the lineup, otherwise, his situation just doesn't make any sense.  And I'm not just saying that cause I started him in fantasy this week.

Falcon's coach Mike Smith is terrible - You're down by 13 nearing the end of the first half...KICK THE FIELD GOAL.  Jesus! I understand everyone is trying to be cool like BB with these 4th down attempts, but sometimes when you're only down 13 you should take 3 points.

Sheldon Brown wants his paper - That gimpy hammy looked pretty fucking good when he was running the other way for six.  Sheldon knows he has to make the big plays to make the big bucks, and that fool was out like Adam Lambert when he saw the chance to score.  Remember kids: anytime an athlete points to his name on the jersey, he wants more money.

Donovan McNabb is fake as shit -

You big don't care about Mike Vick doing well.  And what's up with these long-ass whisper-speeches you're giving other quarterbacks?  You're not their father!  Win a fucking Superbowl first! 



  1. I reviewed the tape of every Eagles game of the last three years and came to a conclusion as to why Reggie Brown hasn't been on the field much this year.

    It's because he blows.

  2. Weaver is awesome -- he's a bulldozer; He runs with his head down and his chest parallel to the field. But Leonard is a "give-me-a-minute-to-catch-my-breath" type of guy. He's going to have a heart attack by week 16.