Eagles Draft Talk: Beasts and Axe Murderers

By TWW friend 'Anonymous'

Mock drafts are stupid. The board never plays out the way anyone thinks it will. It's like Groundhog's Day, but instead of a Porcupine you have Mel Kiper Jr. So instead of prognosticating all day on the internet (you can go blind) I'm just gonna throw some names out there. But first, let's see what the porcupines have to say.

Walterfootball.com recently updated their mock draft board, and this is how they see the Eagles first three picks playing out. 1) Gabe Carimi, OT, Wisconsin 2) Curtis Brown, CB, Texas 3) Greg Jones, LB, Michigan State. On the surface it looks like the birds would fill in their blanks at OT, CB, and LB with these picks. Carimi is a 6'8 beast, Brown is cornerback named Brown, and Greg Jones is one of those hybrid DE/LB types which usually translates into a career special teamer, which the Eagles love. If the Birds draft a tackle, corner, and linebacker with their first three picks I'm gonna be pretty happy. Hell, if they don't trade any of their first three picks I'll be happy.

Last year Howie Rose selected 7 out of 13 players who participated in the senior bowl last year, so you gotta look at who helped themselves the most during that jawn. My picks are a mixture of what I think will happen, and what I want to happen. 1) Ben Ijalana OT/G, Villanova. Don't think Carimi will be there when the Eagles pick, so they go local with Ben. I'm good either way. I'd personally want to draft Mike Pouncey, because his brother is good at football. 2) Brooks Reed, DE/OLB, Arizona. He fits the Chris Gocong/Matt McCoy style that the Eagles love, and he was one of the most impressive players at the Senior Bowl. 3) Casey Matthews, LB, Oregon.  You know why I want Axe Murder Jr. He looked really good at the National Championship. And, yeah, I want Clay Matthews’s stunt double if I can't have Clay Matthews.

But what about the Corner? We ain't draftin' a corner, cause we're gettin' Asomugha. I really want Corey Casey Matthews, guys. Sure he's under sized and not nearly as athletic as his brother, but they said the same things about Clay coming out of college. He's projected as a Zach Thomas, as if it's a bad thing. I'd take Zach Thomas right now over Ernie Sims - ALL DAY. We need to draft some defensive swag this year, Eagles, no more BYU kids with their high character and morals. I want beasts. CAN I GET A HOT TUB!

GO BIRDS!