Tuesday, April 19, 2011

A Way Too Early Look At The Eagles 2011 Record

Before I start, let's all remember that I did this last year and while I predicted the correct final record (10-6), I only got about half the games right individually. So what matters more? Where you end up or how you got there? I'm going with the former, but honestly does it matter if we don't have football next year anyway? Let's hope the owners stop being bitches and end this thing. Chad Hall needs a job.

Anyway, here's an all too premature look at exactly how the Eagles season will go next year:

Week One: at St. Louis (1 PM, FOX)

Um, the Rams? Yea, I know they were better last year and all, but let's be honest...they still suck. If the Eagles don't dominate this game right out of the shoot, we're in trouble. 1-0.

Week Two: at Atlanta (8:20 PM, NBC)

Vick returns home. Atlanta's home opener. The Eagles have owned the Falcons over the past few years, and dominated them last year in the midst of their #1 seed season (with Kolb no less). 2-0.

Week Three: N.Y. Giants (1 PM, FOX)

I feel like the Eagles never play the Giants this early. It's kinda weird to be honest, like a hand job. I mean, you know you've had it before, but it's been so long you can't remember. Anyway, until the Giants actually beat the Eagles again I refuse to believe it can happen. 3-0.

Week Four: San Francisco (1PM, FOX)

The 49ers game, which seems to happen every year, is always close. Like annoyingly so. Whatever, 3-1.

Week Five: at Buffalo (1PM, FOX)

Rumors ran wild that this game would be played in Toronto. It won't be, it will be played in Buffalo. I know some people were pissed about going to Toronto, cause Canada sucks, but Buffalo is worse. It's basically the Canada of the US. 4-1.

Week Six: at Washington (1PM, FOX)

Remember the last time they played the Redskins in Washington? Sure do. Not sure who the Redskins QB will be this year either, but I bet they suck. 5-1.

Week Seven: BYE WEEK

Week Eight: Dallas (8:20 PM, NBC)

I have a weird, sickening feeling that the Cowboys will be good again this year. Everything went wrong for them last year, and they still almost beat the Eagles twice. Andy Reid never loses after the bye though. So I'll run with the big guy here. 6-1.

Week Nine: Chicago (8:30 PM, ESPN)

Monday Night Football. Jaws. Gruden. The Bears. A loss. 6-2.

Week Ten: Arizona (1 PM, FOX)

I'm not sure what to make of the NFC West yet. They can't possibly be that bad again, but will they be good? Probably not. 7-2.

Week Eleven: N.Y. Giants (8:30 PM, NBC)

I think I've covered my thoughts on the Giants. 8-2.

Week Twelve: New England (4:15 PM, CBS)

The Patriots don't have that aura anymore, not after choking in the playoffs last year. They're beatable, they're quarterback is a terrible dancer and cries, They're defense is still a work in progress. But they'll still beat the Eagles. 8-3.

Week Thirteen: at Seattle (8:20 PM, NFL Network)

Stupid Thursday night games. Pain in my ass. As long as Marshawn Lynch doesn't go all beast mode on us, I think we'll be fine here. 9-3.

Week Fourteen: at Miami (1 PM, FOX)

Remember that awesome game in Miami 8 years ago? Brian Westbrook going all air-born and shit. Eagles won that game, this one too. 10-3

Week Fifteen: N.Y. Jets (4:15 PM, CBS)

The Eagles have finished the last few years on some sour notes. The Jets are probably a bad match-up here, being all good at defense and stuff. Plus a 3-0 sweep of NY is probably too much to ask. 10-4.

Week Sixteen: at Dallas (4:15 PM, FOX)

Odds are this game gets flexed, because I really believe it's our Birds and the Cowboys for the NFC East this year. Sadly, I think this game is a loss, I just have a bad feeling about Dallas this year. 10-5.

Week Seventeen: Washington (1PM, FOX)

It's about time they don't end with Dallas. That was getting old. Anyway, 11-5.

There you have it, 11-5. Not sure what that will be good for, either the #2 or #3 seed, or maybe a wild card if Dallas is really good (fuck the Giants). Either way, the schedule is a pretty balanced one, and there is an awesome road game (Miami) on there. I bet that stadium ends up 75% Eagles fans, easily.

Go Birds.


  1. Week 15 at NYJ - a win there would make it 4-0 agianst NY, unless Canada does actually annex Buffalo before Week 5.

    The Eagles routinely pimp-slap the Giants, and will do so again in 2011, once with each hand.

    About Dallas, I have the opposite feeling. I think they are on a 1990's-like decade-long stretch of renewed suckitude. They will embrace the suck.
    That being said, I think the Eagles wind up splitting with them, just becuase they don't match up well.

    Also, I think they split with the skins. Week 17 could wind up being meaningless for both teams, with the Eagles locked in as division winners and a #4 seed at 10-5, and the skinnies locked out of the playoffs, but Shanny will pump for another win to save his coaching job, so the Birds 3rd string will face the Washington 1's in a meaningless loss.

  2. I meant NYC, not NY, but I suppose you are correct. And I certainly hope you're right on the Cowboys, god knows I don't want to be.

  3. You aren't making any sense. NYC doesn't have any football teams. Duh.

  4. Dallas will ass fuck the Eagles this year...Vick bombs and starts blowing DJack. Romo and Co. will tear you guys the fuck up. You will never be able in the same category as Dallas.

  5. I miss when this blog used to be good. :(