Today is Officially 'Call a State Trooper an Asshole Day'

%&*#! No more tickets for swearing in Pa. - Firing off a few curse words can't be charged as a crime anymore in the U.S. state of Pennsylvania — at least when state police are involved. State police have agreed to stop citing the public for cursing as part of a settlement Tuesday of a federal free-speech lawsuit.
The American Civil Liberties Union represents Pennsylvanians who have been ticketed for cursing at an overflowing toilet, a swerving motorcyclist and a parking ticket issuer. The citations can lead to hundreds of dollars in fines and legal costs, not to mention the occasional jail stint.

Shiiiiiiit, $300 for cursing? Don't think our founding fathers had this in mind when they created the Constitution. Plus I'm pretty sure Ben Franklin called that smug prick Washington an asshole more than once.

Still, the act of vomiting on the daughters of a police officer at a sporting event remains illegal. Give us us free!

Pot Charges Dropped Against Juqua Parker

If you remember, last year Juqua Parker and Todd Herremans got pulled over for a traffic violation and the cops discovered a bag of marijuana in the car. If filmed, this would have been the lamest stoner buddy comedy of all time (Juqua and Todd: Escape to Wawa). Anyway, Parker admitted it was his, charges were filed, and that was that.

Well today (420) the charges were dropped because the cops unlawfully searched his car. So now Juqua can go about his regularly-mediocre life and hopefully get replaced by one of our second-round picks this year. Hooray for rights! As per the DA:

"You can't just go and search the car. There was no basis for it."

Remember: the police must have probable cause, kids!

Fredex Delivered Directly To Jail

Former Eagle Freddie Mitchell was to be in town to do a weeks’ worth of guest hosting spots on 97.5 The Fanatic.

Instead he just ended up getting arrested.