Monday, October 18, 2010

Eagles 31, Falcons 17: The Desktop Wallpaper Bowl

Oh who doesn't love the friendly office wager.

A fellow employee -- who for the sake of privacy we'll call "Edward McFalconsfan" -- and I were engaged in a work week of casual shit-talking since last Monday. The final resolution? Whoever is the fan of the losing team must change their desktop wallpaper to a background of the winner's choosing and leave it there for a week.

Edward McFalconsfan, enjoy your week. I came into work early on a Monday just to MS Paint this for you.

So what did we learn? Wetz was Wrong, Chad Hall is the Beneficiary of Racism, Dunta Robinson is a Fucking Asshole, Give McDermott His Credit, Kevin Kolb Trade Value Meter, Won in the Trenches, Wide Left, and Vick is Still the Starter.

Wetz was Wrong - The place: our comments section.  The day: October 7, 2010. The time: 12:33 PM. The words:

"Kevin Kolb sucks. It's been decided, end of story. If you look that uncomfortable in an NFL game, after three years in the league, you ain't got a prayer."

3:49 PM:

"I'm not on any ledge. Kevin Kolb sucks, that's reality. I'm not abandoning hope when it comes to Kolb, I never had hope in him to begin with. There's a difference."

Well, 579 yards, 4 TDs, and a 118.5 QB Rating later, it looks like reality has made quite the fool of our fellow WizWitter.

Kevin has looked nothing short of amazing in the past two starts, and while I refuse to use the word "poise" when describing any NFL quarterback, hes looked quite...comfortable running the offense during his stretch as starter.

Oh, and FYI:

"maurice said...
I've always been higher on Kolb than a lot of people, and while I wrote this post and saw his terrified little-boy face last Sunday, I feel okay about his chances going forward.
He's made the throws before, it's just about -- as Hard Knocks Rex Ryan would say -- 'letting his nuts drop'."

Chad Hall is the Beneficiary of Racism - Wes Welker. Julian Edelman. Danny Amendola. Danny Woodhead. Chad Hall. That's the order in which it happened.

I'm not blind, NFL. I see what you're doing here.

And has anyone ever seen any of these guys in the same place at the same time? I swear they're all the same person. Finkle is Einhorn! Ton Loc is Marino!

Dunta Robinson is a Fucking Asshole - You see what you did, dummy? You nearly killed you both. You're the reason mothers don't let kids play football.

Give McDermott His Credit - The Falcons were #2 in rushing in the NFL. They only gained 65 yards on the ground Sunday. Sean McDermott's game planning has been solid enough to withstand the loss of his #1 CB last week and his starting DT this week. You know those moments when the entire D line shifts left or right simultaneously just before the play is a run to that side? That's what good coaching looks like.

Kevin Kolb Trade Meter

Won in the Trenches - Patchwork O-line giving Kolb time to throw + D-line stuffing the run and getting pressure on the QB = Victory.

Football is as simple as that.

Wide Left - Akers missed a bunch of field goals but I think he'll be fine and I only wrote this long run-on sentence so I could link to this fantastic picture I found while searching Google images for "bad kicker."

Vick is Still the Starter - I'll keep this short: fans forget too quickly. If you doubters don't remember, Mike Vick was doing much of the same stuff Kevin Kolb is doing: 575 yards passing, 5 TDs, and a 113.6 QB Rating. There is one huge difference between the two, though -- Vick has 67 yards and a TD on the ground. The threat that Vick poses with his feet allows other guys to get open and is something that is immeasurably important to an offense predicated on big plays such as ours.

Vick is starting. Until he starts throwing picks.

Titans up next. Go Birds.


  1. I hate having to defend myself, but I suppose I must. The best two football teams the Eagles played this year have been:

    1) The Green Bay Packers (pre-everyone injured version)

    2) The Washington Redskins (who are A LOT better than we probably realize)

    He looked rather awful in those games, I'd have to say.

    While Kolb has played very well the past two weeks, you can not with any exceptional accuracy say that he's arrived OR that he's a proven he's a good QB. Yes, his "nut's may have dropped" but I still need to see him beat a good team on the road or win a division game before I anoint him a good player. Truth be told, I still really really really have my doubts and ultimately am pretty sure I'll be proven right. Probably because I've rarely been wrong about anything in my life.

    Of course he's probably only getting one more start this year anyway, meaning the debate will likely rage on until next season (assuming Vick comes back and stays healthy). So let's hold off on saying I'm wrong just yet...lest you forget I accurately predicted the Eagles would be 4-2 at this point back in mid-April. (Hidden meaning = I know what the fuck I'm talking about.)

    Either way, go Birds.

  2. Oh, forgot to mention. If Kolb is great and I'm proven wrong...I'll have no problem with that. Cause, ya know, I love the Eagles and all.

  3. I'm glad to see someone called out the hater parade. I just wish this was the start of the Kevin Kolb era as opposed to lay over in Kolb County.