Friday, January 8, 2010

Eagles/Cowboys Fantasy Draft

Because it’s only two days away and you’ve probably heard every possible angle ad nauseam on Saturday's Eagles v Cowboys Wild Card matchup, we decided to do something fun and a little different that will trigger arguments.

You play Madden.  You know what a fantasy draft is.  If you were choosing from the Eagles and Cowboys and had to pick a starting lineup with the players from either team*, what kinda football Frankenstein would you end up with? McNabb or Romo? Celek or Witten? A shitty safety or an equally shitty safety?

Keep in mind this isn’t a roster based off who we’d rather have for their whole careers, just starting at this point in time and going forward.

On to fantasy land!

Quarterback - Tony Romo
Tough decision. I'm a McNabb backer through and through - whether in good times or bad. I’m no hater or racist. He's the greatest QB in Eagles history. But if you look at the numbers, Romo's had the better season (albeit slightly. As I said earlier: this fake draft is for right now. The past doesn't matter.

Running Back - Felix Jones
BWest has a busted dome and McCoy isn't as good as either Jones or Barber. We're going with the explosive Jones whereas Barber sometimes just doesn't seem like he always puts his power behind every run. I’ve never seen a RB as young as him look like a battering ram one week, and then getting dropped by arm tackles the next.

Full Back - Leonard Weaver
If I need to tell you, you’re a dummy. Best. Fullback. In. The. EN. EFF. EL.  ....dummy.

Wide Receiver - DeSean Jackson
Most explosive player in the National Football League who's name doesn't start with Chris and end with Johnson.

Wide Receiver - Miles Austin

Tight End - Brent Celek
Because I'm a homer. Witten is better for his blocking alone. But as far as offensive weapon? Celek looks better than Witten right now and has improved leaps and bounds over a season ago -- 291 yards in the last three games alone. One-handed catches and shit.  That Pro Bowl spot is yours next year Brent.

Offensive Line - Dallas
Did you watch last week's game? These fatties are BIG and strong. The Eagles D-Line looked's tough to break through this line using only a standard four man pass rush.

Defensive Line - Philly
Shear numbers -- we have a lot of talent here.  And because Trent Cole is a beast. And he kills things and films it for all to see.

Outside Linebacker - Demarcus Ware
11 sacks, 5 forced fumbles speak for themselves. One of the best players in the league.

Middle Linebacker - Bradie James
To be honest, neither linebacking corp is all that great. The Eagles had old man Trotter playing MLB for the majority of last weeks’ game. Kind of an easy decision here.

Outside Linebacker - Anthony Spencer
5 tackles, 2 sacks, a forced fumble last week.

Editors note:
Anthony Spencer was the first-round pick that we traded the Cowboys back in 2007 for a second, third, and fifth round selections. We used those picks to select Kevin Kolb, Stewart Bradley and CJ Gaddis respectively. So while I think that Anthony Spencer is a quality player, thank you for the a future (possibly) starting QB and a stud linebacker of our own, motherfuckers. Sadly, ours won't be helping us until next September.

Cornerback - Mike Jenkins
The dude backed his shit up. He talked trash on DJacc and backed it all up. There are props due for that. The guy is the best lockdown defender you don't know about.

Cornerback - Asante Samuel
Cause the guy is a ball hawk. He'll personally get you close to double digit turnovers each year. And that’s not factoring in all the passes he deflects and interception opportunities he creates for his teammates. Just uh… you know… don’t ask him to tackle anyone. He's kind of a bitch.

Free Safety – Ken Hamlin
At this position neither team has much to work with in terms of a something called "talent".

Strong Safety - Quntin Mikell
Because the other guys name is Sensabaugh. Never noticed before, but Mikell has a Tyra Banks sized fivehead. Just sayin.

Kicker - Akers
He's had a great year and seemingly came back from the dead. Fill in that grave with Vanderjagt and Elam, we don’t need it yet. Akers is still alive and kickin'. (Get it? Did you see what I did there?)

Punter - McBriar
Because the other option is Sav Rocca and he is a ball licker, you see.

Mostly Cowboys, I know.  But right now, they're the more talented team.  I know it hurts to say that -- I felt a little nauseous typing it.  But there is a lot more to winning a football game than talent alone: coaching, experience, discipline, nerves, will, luck, etc.  We can definitely still win this game.

*Stacy Andrews and Roy Williams were not invited for this exercise. They're terrible.

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